Waterfall Lyrics (United Pursuit Band)

"Oh Lord, I need you, capture me...
Take me deeper
into your heart.

Surround me with your love,
and hold me close.
And never, never let me go.

So close that I can feel your every breath
until my heart begins to dance
with yours

never let me go

won't you take me to a new place,
to a realm of mercy and grace
where love, love flows heavy

like a waterfall."

"If I give it all to You, will You make it all new?

If I open up my hands, will You fill them again?"

-United Pursuit Band

Notes My Sister Sent Me

Graham Cooke:

*Learn the joyful way of living from the inside to the outside- not the other way around
*Your starting place always guarantees your outcome!
*God allows in His wisdom what He could easily prevent in His power
*Warriors don't pray for rescue
*God allows situations that bring fear so that He can replace it
*Fear=time for more love
*He deals with things by bringing them to the surface and then exchanging them
*Rejoicing is a brilliant weapon
*If you miss the small thing, you'll miss the big thing. Life in the spirit is about the simple things.
*My default position is as a much loved child
*Every negative in my life has already been targeted by God for an upgrade
*Real humility is knowing what you're like without Jesus and knowing who you are with Him
*There's a time God no longer wants to meet your needs, He wants to give you a chunk of your destiny and say, "Go spend that!"
*Joy is teh abiding atmosphere of Heaven. We must learn to live in it.
*You choose the environment you live in
*You have to become accumulated to confident living
*Pay attention to your history..... wqhere are the areas you've been victimized or held back? That's a place for automatic ministry.
*Your mind cannot receive revelation, it can only process information
*Greatness is really doing the simple things well-to a point of excellence
*We just want things resolved, we don't want to become different
*some of us are living systematic lives instead of a life of rhythym
*Dreams are received in comfort, but birthed in adversity
*God is teaching us to trust Him and asking what can He trust in us
*create best life in "Egypt" or move into your inheritance in "Canaan"
*You dont have the right to be wounded. You have the right to be healed.
*You can't live in a high place if you are easily wounded; easily offended
*Ask the Lord for something in connection with your relationship..
what do I need right now from God?
What is the next installment of being Christ-like that I need?
what am I struggling w/ right now?

Kim Walker:

"I created this amazing track record with God (time spent with Him) and never once had to promote myself."

*Rest in God. Trust His perfect plan. At just the right time He opens up the door.

Favorite thing to ask God: "God, what do you think about me?"

*Having His thoughts running through your head all the time

*"There will be a day when I'll be walking in the fruit of these times and these moments."

*The most amazing thing to get married later

Sheri Silk:

"Freedom really reveals whats inside of you more than rules ever could."

wear your passion

xoxoxoxo

"Life is about the people you meet and the things you create with them, so go out and start creating. Live your dream, and wear your passion." That's the part that really challenged me for today. Moving back to the city where I grew up after being away for about six years (minus summers home) I'm wondering where I fit. Not that I have ever felt completely at home in my city of origin, but now I do feel like I've grown into a place of realizing I can make an effort to make it more like home. Even if I don't settle down here, I have this chance, whether it's a few days, a few months, a few years...to do something that is lasting and beneficial.

So this is the stepping out of my own box challenge that I'm giving myself--

I am going to search out the art community here and find a way to start creating alongside them . I think there is something inside of me that will come alive as I take that risk and make that effort. I want to hear the dreams that are stirring in the hearts around town. I want to read what they are writing, see what they are painting, be changed and challenged by how they view the world. And I want to stretch myself to write creatively, to explore deeper places of God's heart for people, to even pick up a paint brush and start putting color on a blank canvas.

Why? Because I have this heart for art communities and a genuine passion for creativity, yet I'm full of talk and no action. I've got these big dreams of seeing simple stories transform even just one life, bringing healing, encouragement, identity--whether that be through a short story, a play (ooh! start a dinner theater!), a short film--or just creating a place that is safe and inspired, for artists to emerge and start to release the stories that they are carrying.

I'm not even sure that I will be a journalist or a filmmaker, even though that is what I studied in school. However, my passion for storytelling will always be a core to who I am, as I search out the meaning behind what makes us function. I want to steward well what I've learned, even if it's just the simple lesson to approach stories with gentleness. Even if the next part of my journey takes me down a different route, I want to know that I've used this in between time to develop the artist/storyteller in me, allowing the maturing process to continue instead of aborting all of the growth I've experienced in the last three years.

That's my challenge. There. It's written out. Now I can't run away from it.

My Week

This week I learned how to use a French Press for the first time. When I use the right coffee grounds and mix it with the right amount of milk, I literally feel like I'm back in Central America, enjoying a nice afternoon outside in the lovely beach breeze air.

That's a good feeling right there. Almost as good as it gets.

I made a pot roast! And it was good. That deserves a round of applause from myself, to myself.

It also snowed and rained this week, both of which I enjoyed immensely. Spring is on its way, and I can't wait. (I need to get in shape!) It hit me while driving around the other day, looking at the snow piled up on the hills around where I live, that if I didn't go through the cold of the winter, I would never be able to enjoy the spring in the same way. I like both seasons a lot. When the winter is coming to a close, I am so thankful that spring is on its way.

The joy!

My dad and I rocked out to Johnny Cash for a bit while I was driving him to pick up one of the cars that is in the shop. It was funny to watch him turn up the volume and really get into the song. Moments like that are not easily forgotten.

I also made a new friend. His name is Oliver. I keep forgetting what kind of dog he is, but he sure likes being around me. The fact that I am returning the sentiment is a big deal. As a kid, I had a long "what I want to be when I grow up" list, and veterinarian NEVER made the list. Call me heartless, but animals just aren't my thing. I like them from a safari bus in Africa or observing them at the zoo, but that's about it.

Considering the fact that I am the kind of person who quickly feels claustrophobic when I spend too much time with people, Oliver is unashamedly destroying that boundary. He follows me everywhere. Even if I go to the bathroom, he waits outside of the door til I come out! It's insane. I don't know of anyone else in the world who likes being around me quite that much. haha.

Well, except God. He never gets tired of me.

Oh the simple things. They are so beautiful.

Questions about legalizing morality

Can we really legalize morality? I've been asking myself that question. Goldwater says no, and I would tend to agree with him. However, God gave laws to Moses so that the people of Israel would know how to live. David wrote in the Psalms that he craved for that law, so that he could walk correctly. Paul spoke about how he would not know sin except by knowing the law, and without the law convicting his sin, he would not know grace. Jesus stated that he was not there to eradicate the law, but to fulfill it. He is still very much alive. The law was fulfilled in Him, but now I ask, what does that mean for us today? What does that mean when trying to create a just society? Can the Kingdom of God really fit into a "society" of man's making? I don't know. I'm asking.

Until Jesus returns (and He will, He promised), we have to learn how to work within the systems of this world, while not becoming slaves to ideology. (even Jesus seemed to have a respect for the government of the day when he said "give to Caesar what is Caesar's.) A theocracy won't happen til He is back and democracy seems to be the best we've got in the meantime. However, that democracy that was founded on freedom WITHIN the confines of godly law, is slipping away.

(and I am NOT an expert on government or law making or the Bible so everything I'm writing in this blog is MERELY a reflection of my own processing and thinking...and I am totally open to hearing the opinions of much wiser people than I.)

I still wonder if creating laws to enforce what some consider moral really works. Until the purpose behind the law is written on our hearts, and we actually start to crave righteousness, we will choose the easy way where the broad road compels us to walk. The condition of our hearts seems to, in many ways, reflect the laws that are made by legislators in a democratic system. Which is why deep down, I feel that stirring for true revival that brings transformation--that reaches hearts that have walked that broad path and find that all it brings in the end is hopelessness and confusion.

solidifying my stance.

My sister texted me from California, telling me the news. Yesterday, in Maryland's Baltimore Herald, one of the big stories of the day was titled, "Same-sex marriage bill passes first hurdle in Senate." The vote was 25-22, in favor of allowing same sex couples to marry.

In the midst of things rapidly changing all around the world on a daily basis, with everything in the Middle East being shaken, I'm doubtful that the pace will slow down or stay contained in that part of the world. I need to know what I believe and where I stand on different issues, including this one, without faltering between two opinions. We may not think right now that it's urgent to give thought to our belief system on the covenant of marriage--and covenant in general--yet in my gut, I feel as if we aren't going to have the convenience of time and freedom to really sort through what we believe for much longer. We need to know. Stand firm. Hold tight to eternal life.

My thoughts on this subject have brought up some ideas that I've been grappling with (and I want to back them up with Scripture once I have the chance to study out the issues that are coming up in my thoughts):

My belief system on same sex marriage has been extremely consistent my whole life. Romans 1. It's truth. Yet, last night my thoughts started sparking questions of WHY same sex marriage is against God's way and WHY He can't bless a nation that says that it is ok.

It's not okay. But we need to understand why. Because when the consequences of our choices start showing up in this nation, on our land, in the generations to come...we need to know that God is not to blame. Our lust is to blame. Our idolatry. Our self love.

When the next generation looks to see if there is anyone who is still standing for truth, I want to be one of those in that remnant. Not because I'm loyal to a political party. I'm not. This is not a democrat, republican, libertarian, whatever...issue. This is a human race issue. This is a separation from God issue. This is a sin issue that goes far beyond just the legalizing of same sex marriage. It is a reflection of the state of our hearts.

________

So WHY does it break God's heart?

I believe it largely has to do with the fact that God is holy and love, yet our lust separates us from Him. The carnal cravings of unredeemed man cause us to long for destructive lifestyles that in our mind seem good and right because we've not allowed truth to confront us.

I also believe that very few people today understand the foundational purpose of the marriage covenant. If we did, there wouldn't be people in office who are allowing laws to pass that violate the definition of marriage, nor would there be a generation tolerant to the point of wanting to love and accept everyone, without a plumbline of righteousness dictating how that acceptance looks.

However, I also think that the ultra conservatives who hate homosexuality just because they've been taught it's wrong without ever understanding WHY it is wrong, are just as deceived. Instead of a righteous anger that is birthed out of understanding the heart of God, there is a hatred that emerges towards people, which isn't God's heart at all. He wants all to know Him, all to walk in abundant life, all to experience His kindness in an intimate and real way.

I feel like this is an opportunity to press into God like never before, to let His voice and His love show me how to walk as things change and as the culture continues to reject His ways. I have hope that there are still those who are so hungry for what is true. I know that I am one of them. I've been both overly tolerant and overly staunch in my lifetime, so I know both extremes well. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if people define me as being kind or as being strong in my positions...what matters is if God is pleased with my thoughts and my actions. And if that means that He puts a righteous anger in my heart because of how we as a culture are disregarding Him, well then so be it. Because the truth is, lives are at stake in this. "The Valley of Decision" is for real. Freedom costs something to obtain.

God, help me to stand for you and don't let my love grow cold.

Shew. Enough thoughts for now.

hi, this is me. just me. nothing to prove. no need to make you see that i'm worth your time. you've been telling me i'm worth your time every second i've been alive. i'm still learning to believe this deep down. i want to love you. deep, wide, high, long. forever. i want to find that place where bad dreams can't get me, where fear isn't allowed to come in and the only hiding place is the one where you are the refuge and fortress. where hiding from being seen isn't allowed because vulnerability comes naturally, where i forget myself inside of Love. shame dies there. comparison dies there. running from relationship because all i can remember are the broken promises and inconsistencies. that dies too. trying to reach the epitome of success, where striving steals joy and peace...those aren't allowed in this Love. deep, wide, high, long. forever. i'm going to find myself in there.

What is a poet?

"He is a man of religious experience whose creative gift enables him to communicate spiritual truths to men. His poetry can bring deliverance from spiritual death, bringing his hearers to a new knowledge of their divine Creator, who gave him this special power. In this way souls that have been disordered can be healed, and the human relation with God may be restored when it has been impaired...This is the fruit and indeed the purpose of music and poetry, direct gifts from God to mankind."

-- Elizabeth Henry,Orpheus and His Lute

excerpt from the poem: "The Beckoning"

"Society is wrought with infection. Everyone's right. Everyone's wrong. Despair is familiar milieu. Hopelessness seeps through the cracks like water. Mistrust and suspicion replace integrity and respect. Violence has numbered the consciences of many, teaching us that life is expendable, sex is cheap and available. Love..., questionable. Wars among nations, calamities among the peaople, tragedy and death on the lips of smiling news casters. Erosion of all that was pure in one huge land-sliding mass of humanity. Shock value has usurped moral value. We got high on the adrenaline, and now nothing's enough to sting us with another fix. We've grown accustomed to betrayal. We can no longer define marriage or when life beings. Who decides what we accept as the status quo? Who determines the norm? Religion is money and mouth, dark closets and confusion. Sounds like a subtle apocalypse, but who's listening anyway? We overslept on judgement day. Still there is a voice beckoning us to come away. There is the soft whisper of hope tht refuses to renounce its vows. There is a journey to be taken away from all that can be shaken. Come with me and listen to the voice that beckons."
-Stephen Roach.

you have my attention

I have a criticism of our culture: we don't really understand friendship. In a world of superficial connections and shallow conversation, scientists say that our brains our rewiring themselves to fit today's technology and fast pace. It's incredible to think that our brains have the ability to do that, but at the same time, it makes me wonder what is being left behind in the process when it comes to community and relationship. However, I'm quite hoping that technology can't win because we were made for friendship, and eventually, the thirst for that will be strong enough to break the addictions that try to keep us from this. At least I have that hope.

I have this crazy hunch that friendship is super important to God. Most likely I could get some legit theologians to back me up on this claim.

And the scripture was fulfilled that says,

"Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,"

and he was called God's friend.

To be called a friend of God must be one of the highest honors...so I want to learn what it means to see Him and to listen to Him, like I would to my friends over skype or over coffee.

Tonight though, I was thinking about how I am more considerate of the people who are my friends here on earth. I ask them "How are you doing today?" "Can I help you with something?" "How's your heart?" and often I find myself genuinely listening to them, wanting to offer them my heart by giving them my time.

God on the other hand, the one who I consider to be my "best" friend, gets the occasional glance, the spacey stare so often these days. "I'll be with you in one second, Jesus!" and then rush off to do something that was apparently more urgent, forgetting all about that promise. I used to be wild about spending time with HIm--couldn't wait to wake up before the sun to find Him in a quiet space. Where is John the Beloved when I need him, telling me, "Caitlin! Go after your first love! He is the most important. His time is worth more than the greatest of kings. Don't let the lesser lovers steal the moments with the One who knows you far better than any other."

Amazingly, I know that unlike a lot of people in the natural who would forsake me as a friend if I brushed them off, giving them the cold shoulder and withdrawing from them my time or attention, God remains constant. He doesn't walk away.

WHY doesn't He walk away?! Sometimes because I think I deserve that, I wish He would just say, "Hey, I'm done with you. This is taking too long." I have a hard time dealing with this love that does not behave like man--this love that sees my heart and is willing to wait for me to turn my eyes up.

It's like He's waiting for moments like tonight, where my senses come to attention, realizing the craving for Majesty that's been suppressed. My heart says, "Oh God, where is it that I've been this whole time? HERE I AM! I want to be your friend. Tell me what's on Your heart."

That's conviction right there, the Spirit going right to my heart, awakening something that's been asleep due to my own delusional pursuits.

May the use of my time please this Friend who never walks away.

A World Full of Story

Since my grandma moved in with my family a few years ago, our home has been filled with more stories than I can recount. One day I hope to document those stories beyond the storage space of my memory, creating a living record of earlier days.

Listening to those stories that my grandma tells ignites the stories inside of my mom and dad, opening up new horizons that weren't available to me when I was growing up.

An observation that I've made: there's something contagious about re-telling personal history.

As they start to share, I begin to find parts of my own life falling into place. Different questions get answered inside their story, as they share about high school and college romances, good friends, painful interactions, dysfunction, defeated moments, victorious moments, meeting Jesus, saying goodbye to parents because of death, risky and faith filled decisions, and the list goes on and on.

Maybe that discovery of a larger story is a motivation behind God's frequent plea for us to not forget His faithfulness. When I forget the spiritual history of my life, both personal and historical, the world starts to feel much smaller. It begins to fill up with doubt and disappointment, versus a heart full of vision and faith and rejoicing--the kind of life that brings God pleasure.

I want to remember what God has done throughout history, before I was even born. I want eyes that see from His perspective, eyes that believe Him, no matter what today's news, current events, politicians or the great experts of our age are saying.

"Your love, God, is my song, and I'll sing it!

I'm forever telling everyone how faithful you are.

I'll never quit telling the story of your love--

how you built the cosmos

and guaranteed everything in it.

Your love has always been our lives' foundation,

your fidelity has been the roof over our world."

"a plain and simple life is a full life."

(proverbs 13, the message)

Recently I've been attempting to break habits that seem addictive, like coffee drinking. I've actually been surprised to find that I don't miss it much on days that I decide not to drink any.

However, this morning before church I decided to drink a cup. As I took my first sip, I was instantly taken back to Honduras, where I have the fondest memories of coffee. I saw the faces of the farmers in the mountains who harvest their own beans, and their kindness in giving us not just fresh coffee, but a truckload of cucumbers. They were so happy--their smiles beaming from ear to ear.

It's moments like that, where simplicity proves itself to be profound, that I feel my heart impressed to live fully alive by getting rid of all the excess.

"Love is a strange fact

- it hopes all things, believes all things, endures all things. It makes no sense at all."
— Leif Enger

"Be careful whom you choose to hate.
The small and the vulnerable own a protection great enough, if you could but see it, to melt you into jelly.
Beware those who reside beneath the shadow of the Wings."
— Leif Enger

"Once traveling, it's remarkable how quickly faith erodes. It starts to look like something else - ignorance, for example...Sure it's weak, but sometimes you'd rather just have a map."
— Leif Enger

The Price for Cool...

you can't afford it.

The pursuit of cool

produces confusion and brokenness.

"What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?"

Give it all up. Pursue the heart of heaven. Who cares what anyone says, as long as Abba is pleased?

No more compromise.

The price He paid is too great. The love He's poured out is too thick and satisfying.

A Blog Post Written by King Charles

Read It Here

"...to disturb static shadows to bring action to resting dust.

From now,
I want to be in continuous motion; in agitated activity. I want never to be at rest again.
Hopefully this will manifest in touring, releasing and gathering companions and allies in what I see as a battleground.
Where forces are with me, foes are in force. That is why I need you: this will be a battleground.
Every generation is responsible for how they are remembered. Every person is responsible for defining their generation. My vision is that we are united by the same vision. That our identity lies in communion with each other, not in our style, looks, social standing, sexual orientation, wealth, location, colour or age.
We must be aware, fearless and unique; proud of our country and our principles, diligent in honouring that for which we stand.
The principle element that stands in our way is fear. The fear that tells us we have to define ourselves by what we wear, how much money we spend, what job we have, what music, clubs, designers we endorse, who we know, who we don't want to know.
This fear is relentless, well armed and desperate, for fear knows that when we are united against fear, we are truly free from it's claws.
That is why this is a battleground.

I once saw a photograph of Bob Dylan and Joan Baez in the early sixties standing next to a poster empowering people to stand up against the 'rising tide of conformity'. They were calling on people to think for themselves, to express themselves how they wanted to. That generation did change, and rebelled against the old and new ways of thinking and expression were born.
That rebellion has continued through the subsequent decades to the present day where we are still rebelling against an ethos that is no longer here. The result is that we are now conforming to a rebellion that doesn't stand for anything. This is displayed through obedience to sensation, an epic scale of frantic consumption, a break down of morality. The result of this is that we are conforming again, to something darker and more destructive.

This is the call to arms:
Let the great rebellion of our generation be one of purity. Let us not be known throughout the world for drunkeness, loneliness, broken marriages, teenage pregnancies, greed, drug habits, gang culture, and everything else that makes us look like people who are lost. But let us be renowned and respected for our wisdom, our restraint, our passion, our honour, our integrity, our joy, our fulfillment, our trustworthiness and most importantly of all let us be known as nation who loves each other.
Let us turn against this tide of conformity, turn from the values of the world and turn our backs on all the things that weaken us and embrace what makes us strong:
We are called to be in the world but not of the world: to see beauty with our hearts and not our eyes, to see love as a virtue and not a feeling, to value mankind equally, to be fearless, radical and transparent.

This is my war cry."

jump right in until you're free

Take me to the docks, there's a ship without a name
It is sailing to the middle of the sea
The water there is deeper than anything you've ever seen
...Jump right in and swim until you're free

I will remember your face
'Cause I am still in love with that place
But when the stars are the only things we share
Will you be there?

Money came like rain to your hands while you were waiting
For that cold long promsie to appear
People in the churches started singing above their hands
They say "My God is a good God and he cares"

I will remember your face
'Cause I am still in love with that place
When the stars are the only things we share
Will you be there?

I've got a plan
I've got an atlas in my hands
I'm gonna turn when I listen to the lessons that I've learned

-atlas hands, by Benjamin Francis Leftwich

"Feel I'm on the verge of some great trail
Where I'm finally in my place
But I'm fumbling still full proof
And it's cluttering my space
Casting shadows on my face

Though I have the strength to move a hill
I can hardly leave my room
So I sit perfectly still
And I'll listen for a tune
While my mind is on the moon

And If I stumble, and if I stall
And if I slip now, and if I should fall
And if I can't be, all that I could be
Will you? Will you wait for me?

Cause everywhere I seem to be
I am only passing through
I dream these days are about the sea
I always wake up feeling blue
Wishing I could dream of you

So if I stumble, and If I fall
And if I slip now, and loose it all
And if I can't be, all that I could be
Will you? Will you wait for me?

And wait for me
And wait for me
And wait for me
Won't you wait for me?"

-Alexi Murdoch

no more excuses

if our generation is ever going to get healed from the orphan heart that's been left by a highly fatherless culture,

we can't keep blaming others for the brokenness.

A lot hasn't been fair. That's a fact. Turn on the news and in a few seconds the injustices happening daily are evident.

An orphaned generation won't become whole by living in those injustices. It becomes whole through forgiveness. It becomes whole through love. It becomes whole by allowing God to reveal true identity and destiny.

And that goes for the spoiled western evangelical kids who are bitter at the church and think they have arrived, full of logical criticism for everything that's been wrong. Youth is so incredibly prideful, and I am guilty of it too. As a kid who grew up with parents in the ministry, I know how screwed up church politics can get. I know the lack of love leadership often shows. I know what manipulation and power hunger looks like. I have a whole list assembled with quick replies to how messed up the church is and how institutionalizing faith is the root of all evil .

But then I meet a person who really loves Jesus and is living out the Gospel and LOVES his/her church, even though it isn't a perfect place....and all my criticisms die right there. And I really don't have any right to ever pick them up again.

Yet, if I abandon the church and allow the things that MAN has done to put bitterness in my heart, I am walking away from the very plan that God has to bring redemption to the world: it's through His Church. A church who He loves. A church who He will one day call bride.

So let's own up to our own stuff and stop letting the pain cripple us. Which may require some really honest conversations with God. Maybe even some tears because sometimes that sarcastic edge that we've so come to love and appreciate as young people is the produce of really deep hurt and anger. And God isn't scared of that.

Just some thoughts on a day where I am totally fed up with lies winning over truth...and with Christians being soft on sin...and with people staying orphaned because no one ever shows them how amazing it is to live as a son/daughter of God.

but for the grace of God:

I would characterize myself as a pretty laid back person. You know, the kind who likes deep conversations, laughing, watching hilarious movies, long walks on the beach, peace and quiet.

However, there are a few things that really tick me off, and one of them is how the word grace has so often been taken out of a Biblical definition and shaped by the philosophies of a post-modern mindset. Or, how grace has been viewed merely as a tool for initial salvation from eternal damnation, instead of the ever life giving assistance of the Holy Spirit to accomplish more than is possible in our own ability.

But for this blog, I want to focus on the first reason--the abuse of grace. I know that the issues raised in this blog will require more studying out, but I don't want to lose my train of thought while my heart is feeling the offense that it must be to the sacrifice and overcoming power of Jesus when comments like, "Well, thank God for His grace" as a way to numb the conscience when the Spirit starts convicting of sin. That thinking is leaving the church powerless and ineffective, causing us to think blending in with the world is okay because we have grace. The opposite is true too, where we are full of judgment and pride because we are more holy than the rest. That makes me mad too.

The grace of God is a beautiful gift and not to be taken lightly or taken for granted.

Last night as I was going to sleep, I thought about how in Joel it's prophesied that God will pour out his spirit on all flesh. I'm sure that portion of scripture is well quoted and well known, but I was ready for some fresh inspiration from it.

So I asked myself why I would settle for anything less than the life full of the dreams and visions that the prophet saw and declared...

Not to be after something emotionally charged or romanticized, but after FULLNESS. A life where the veil between heaven and earth feels thin and where relationship with God is overwhelmingly joyous.

That's available and I want it. All of Him. I want all of Him.