all the words are gone

• How long I'm back home: indefinite hours that will probably turn into months and possibly a year.
• How many times I've changed my blog background in a matter of five minutes due to a combination of boredom and perfectionism and not wanting to face up to the fact that I don't actually want to do anything mentally stimulating: six times (and counting)
• How much I'm disliking words right now: a lot.
• What I'm doing about it: absolutely nothing.

Lately, I have been unable to write anything that actually requires thought. I can't hold a socially acceptable conversation. I run out of something to say about a minute into a conversation and become incredibly exhausted after just talking for 15 minutes, even though I desperately want to show other people that I care about them and what is important to them.

And I went to college to become a journalist.

Awesome.

Wish I would have known this long-winded writer's block was going to happen before I declared my major. Maybe biological research would be the place for me.

At least I like to ask questions? haha.

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Despite my frustrations with having a hard time communicating things right now, I'm actually incredibly thankful to be home, with a chance to regroup. I am thankful that my parents are welcoming me with open arms, and that I can spend more time with them before the next move. Sometimes I feel like that move may take me far away...but this I do not know for a fact, nor have I heard God say that. It's just a feeling a get sometimes. But God knows what's up. Maybe He's not letting me write so that He can bring me to a place of writing the things I was created to write.

We shall see. And I am excited. I just hope I can break out of this perfectionist blockage once and for all. It's really quite annoying to be too scared to start something because you might not do it perfectly the first time. That would be the disease I want healed this year.