Read Isaiah 42 tonight--it totally ministered to me...
Jesus is so so so so so beautiful.
"A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.
In faithfulness he will bring forth justice;
4 he will not falter or be discouraged
till he establishes justice on earth.
In his law the islands will put their hope."
His promises are incredible.
"I will take hold of your hand.
I will keep you and will make you
to be a covenant for the people
and a light for the Gentiles,
7 to open eyes that are blind,
to free captives from prison
and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness"
The new is coming because he said.
"See, the former things have taken place,
and new things I declare;
before they spring into being
I announce them to you."
Ah! The purpose of my life.
Sing to the LORD a new song,
his praise from the ends of the earth,
you who go down to the sea, and all that is in it,
you islands, and all who live in them.
11 Let the desert and its towns raise their voices;
let the settlements where Kedar lives rejoice.
Let the people of Sela sing for joy;
let them shout from the mountaintops.
12 Let them give glory to the LORD
and proclaim his praise in the islands.
Never alone.
I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light before them
and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
I will not forsake them.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Quote from Moore
"The detachment of the artist is kind of creepy. It's kind of rude...it's closer to bad manners than to courage." -Lorrie Moore
haha. I like this quote.
haha. I like this quote.
Be Light in Darkness, but remember....
"The pursuit of truth is not license to be a jerk."
-Jack Fuller.
-Jack Fuller.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Quick Break
Skirting my chore of pumping my air mattress via a handheld pump for a few moments because my arms are tired (aka out of shape).
I CANNOT WAIT for the movie theatre in heaven. At this point in my life, I'm really looking forward to the Behind the Scenes parts...the chances I get to see how many times God had my back (and really all of me) without my awareness. Even though I can't wait to see that on the big screen up there with Abba, I don't want the revelation of His nearness and protection to wait til then...
So bring on the movie scene imaginations!
Back to pumping.
I CANNOT WAIT for the movie theatre in heaven. At this point in my life, I'm really looking forward to the Behind the Scenes parts...the chances I get to see how many times God had my back (and really all of me) without my awareness. Even though I can't wait to see that on the big screen up there with Abba, I don't want the revelation of His nearness and protection to wait til then...
So bring on the movie scene imaginations!
Back to pumping.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Ahhh! Craziness!!!
"an autograph is a moment frozen in time."
My grandpa wrote the letter in S12!!!!
http://beatlesautographs.com/Special_Items.htm
My grandpa wrote the letter in S12!!!!
http://beatlesautographs.com/Special_Items.htm
Saturday, August 15, 2009
I was sitting
in my room the other day.
Wisdom was there with me, probing my brain. I was probing her's too. All of a sudden, I heard a knock on the door. I stood up, went to the door, and asked who it was. The voice said, "brokenness." I didn't know what to do. Should I let him in? Wisdom came up and tapped me on the shoulder. I looked over and she whispered, "You need to let him come in for a visit. Don't worry, he won't stay long. But you can learn a lot from him." So I let him in. I think his visit this time around is almost done. I know he'll be back around these parts one day. He's taught me a lot so far--lessons that are opening up my heart to a more vulnerable and whole place. I'm glad I listened to wisdom and didn't keep my door closed when he came knocking.
Wisdom was there with me, probing my brain. I was probing her's too. All of a sudden, I heard a knock on the door. I stood up, went to the door, and asked who it was. The voice said, "brokenness." I didn't know what to do. Should I let him in? Wisdom came up and tapped me on the shoulder. I looked over and she whispered, "You need to let him come in for a visit. Don't worry, he won't stay long. But you can learn a lot from him." So I let him in. I think his visit this time around is almost done. I know he'll be back around these parts one day. He's taught me a lot so far--lessons that are opening up my heart to a more vulnerable and whole place. I'm glad I listened to wisdom and didn't keep my door closed when he came knocking.
August 15, 2009 Matters in History
Tonight I decided...
"Not in my house."
-Dikembe Mutumbo
There are certain times in life where I've noticed this fight come out of me that says--that's NOT ALLOWED in my house, it's NOT ALLOWED in my life, it's NOT ALLOWED to go with me into my future. (that being many various things. for example: depression, insanity, confusion, fear, strife, manipulation, etc, etc, etc).
I can't make that decision for anyone else except of myself, but I am making that decision nonetheless.
And even if I stand alone, God is with me, and heaven notices.
I'm tired of you messing with my family.
you will not take advantage of this broken season. you will not steal hope or life from us. Where there is death, God is bringing a double portion of life, and you can't stop it. It might not happen the way I expect. It doesn't matter. My heart is resolved:
GOD IS GOOD
GOD IS FOR ME
My prayer:
Whatever is ahead, God, I say YES to you. I say You are trustworthy. I say You are perfect love.
I trust you to get me through this season. and the next. And the next. and the next. And the next. I trust that what You say about a city to come-a true homeland-is even more glorious than I can imagine.
YOU ARE GOOD.YOU ARE WORTH IT ALL.
"Not in my house."
-Dikembe Mutumbo
There are certain times in life where I've noticed this fight come out of me that says--that's NOT ALLOWED in my house, it's NOT ALLOWED in my life, it's NOT ALLOWED to go with me into my future. (that being many various things. for example: depression, insanity, confusion, fear, strife, manipulation, etc, etc, etc).
I can't make that decision for anyone else except of myself, but I am making that decision nonetheless.
And even if I stand alone, God is with me, and heaven notices.
I'm tired of you messing with my family.
you will not take advantage of this broken season. you will not steal hope or life from us. Where there is death, God is bringing a double portion of life, and you can't stop it. It might not happen the way I expect. It doesn't matter. My heart is resolved:
GOD IS GOOD
GOD IS FOR ME
My prayer:
Whatever is ahead, God, I say YES to you. I say You are trustworthy. I say You are perfect love.
I trust you to get me through this season. and the next. And the next. and the next. And the next. I trust that what You say about a city to come-a true homeland-is even more glorious than I can imagine.
YOU ARE GOOD.YOU ARE WORTH IT ALL.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Ahhh!
Does anyone else think that the "love stories" we get goosebumps and fantasies watching in the movie theatre would be absolutely creepy in real life?!?
Film Inspiration...
"I'm madly in love with you and it's not because of your brains or your personality." -Little Miss Sunshine
Thoughts, Thoughts, Thoughts...
"Go back to that Frederick Buechner quote, "there are all different kinds of voices calling you to all different kinds of work, and the problem is to find out which is the voice of God rather than that of Society, say, or the Superego, or S...elf-Interest." The strands invariably become more entwined as you get older. Please don't let me fool you into thinking the choices are ever simple ones." - steve duinRead More
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Changes...
I'm starting to realize how deeply God is concerned about the positioning of my mind...what I think about indicates how healthy my mind really is...and health levels reflect wholeness levels.
He is making me whole. I am confident of this fact.
NOw the process...that's where I fall short of words. It's sloooooow sometimes, and then speedy other times.
I need to renew my mind. And that requires changes. Some are easy, others are hard. All are necessary.
I used to have as my headline quote something that JRR Tolkien said..."Faithless is he who says farewell when the road darkens." Although I believe this, I don't feel like that's what I'm about right now. I want to be faithful. I want to be faithful because I love.
So I changed my headline to this:
"You were made perfectly to be loved - and surely I have loved you, in the idea of you, my whole life long." -Elizabeth Barrett Browning
I want to live as somebody loved. I want my mind to be renewed so that it thinks like somebody perfectly loved. I want my lifestyle to be one of someone who is perfectly loved.
Amen :-)
He is making me whole. I am confident of this fact.
NOw the process...that's where I fall short of words. It's sloooooow sometimes, and then speedy other times.
I need to renew my mind. And that requires changes. Some are easy, others are hard. All are necessary.
I used to have as my headline quote something that JRR Tolkien said..."Faithless is he who says farewell when the road darkens." Although I believe this, I don't feel like that's what I'm about right now. I want to be faithful. I want to be faithful because I love.
So I changed my headline to this:
"You were made perfectly to be loved - and surely I have loved you, in the idea of you, my whole life long." -Elizabeth Barrett Browning
I want to live as somebody loved. I want my mind to be renewed so that it thinks like somebody perfectly loved. I want my lifestyle to be one of someone who is perfectly loved.
Amen :-)
9
Observation:
Paul talks A LOT about a city to come...his real home...my real home.
"Therefore Jesus also, that He might sanctify the people with His own blood, suffered outside the gate. Therefore let us go forth to Him, outside the camp, bearing His reproach. For here we have no continuing city, but we seek the one to come." Hebrews 13:12-14
"These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them,[c] embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. 14 For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland. 15 And truly if they had called to mind that country from which they had come out, they would have had opportunity to return. 16 But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them."Hebrews 11:13-16
I wonder what life circumstances got him to the point of being able to write like this....All I know is that when I read those passages, my heart feels so much peace and anticipation not just for what is to come, but for what I do in the now. I want to live as a stranger and a pilgrim on the earth--I want to live knowing that there is a homeland to which I am headed--a place where I will find the perfect fit. Until then, may I be found faithful so that God is not ashamed to be called my God. ♥
Paul talks A LOT about a city to come...his real home...my real home.
"Therefore Jesus also, that He might sanctify the people with His own blood, suffered outside the gate. Therefore let us go forth to Him, outside the camp, bearing His reproach. For here we have no continuing city, but we seek the one to come." Hebrews 13:12-14
"These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them,[c] embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. 14 For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland. 15 And truly if they had called to mind that country from which they had come out, they would have had opportunity to return. 16 But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them."Hebrews 11:13-16
I wonder what life circumstances got him to the point of being able to write like this....All I know is that when I read those passages, my heart feels so much peace and anticipation not just for what is to come, but for what I do in the now. I want to live as a stranger and a pilgrim on the earth--I want to live knowing that there is a homeland to which I am headed--a place where I will find the perfect fit. Until then, may I be found faithful so that God is not ashamed to be called my God. ♥
8
Observation(s) in the middle of the night...
Rain falls on the just and the unjust.
Summer is almost over. I need to go catch some fireflys.
Forts are awesome. I think it would be cool to build one and then take a plain canvas and smatter it with colorful buckets of paint. Therapy comes in random ways...
The clutter of attics and basements and sheds will always give me the thrill of adventure.
Russia fascinates me.
It is hard to draw a line in the sand. But until I do, I just keep going in circles. And that only produces dizziness and nausea. Which is better? Courage or safety? I don't like throwing up.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting...
Thought:
I read something in a book the other day (called The Thirteenth Tale). A line got me dreaming...
"So they became friends, the way old couples often do, and enjoyed the tender loyalty that awaits the lucky on the other side of passion."
Selah.
Rain falls on the just and the unjust.
Summer is almost over. I need to go catch some fireflys.
Forts are awesome. I think it would be cool to build one and then take a plain canvas and smatter it with colorful buckets of paint. Therapy comes in random ways...
The clutter of attics and basements and sheds will always give me the thrill of adventure.
Russia fascinates me.
It is hard to draw a line in the sand. But until I do, I just keep going in circles. And that only produces dizziness and nausea. Which is better? Courage or safety? I don't like throwing up.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting...
Thought:
I read something in a book the other day (called The Thirteenth Tale). A line got me dreaming...
"So they became friends, the way old couples often do, and enjoyed the tender loyalty that awaits the lucky on the other side of passion."
Selah.
Monday, August 10, 2009
7
Observation:
It's 1 am. I have to wake up early.
Promise:
Life is happier (and more coherent) after a good night's rest.
Thought:
G'night. Sleep tight. Dream lovely dreams.
It's 1 am. I have to wake up early.
Promise:
Life is happier (and more coherent) after a good night's rest.
Thought:
G'night. Sleep tight. Dream lovely dreams.
6
Observation:
People are not perfect.
But for some reason I find it very easy to start judging them as if I am perfect.
Promise:
Amazingly, people are not perfect and never will be perfect (and yes, I fit into this category. I am not an exception even if my delusions suggest otherwise.)
Thought:
“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” (-Thomas Merton) Right on. There is much more to be said on this topic, and it's probably because I've found myself finding fault in others way too often lately, making this a prominent subject on my heart.
People are not perfect.
But for some reason I find it very easy to start judging them as if I am perfect.
Promise:
Amazingly, people are not perfect and never will be perfect (and yes, I fit into this category. I am not an exception even if my delusions suggest otherwise.)
Thought:
“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” (-Thomas Merton) Right on. There is much more to be said on this topic, and it's probably because I've found myself finding fault in others way too often lately, making this a prominent subject on my heart.
5
Observation:
Apparently I'm not good at setting boundaries. (This can be expounded on for...as long as...my whole life story).
Promise:
That's not good :-) haha. It'll wear me out.
Thought:
Gotta get with Abba and see what He is saying so I can adjust and align with a lifestyle that mirrors Him...
Apparently I'm not good at setting boundaries. (This can be expounded on for...as long as...my whole life story).
Promise:
That's not good :-) haha. It'll wear me out.
Thought:
Gotta get with Abba and see what He is saying so I can adjust and align with a lifestyle that mirrors Him...
4
Observation:
Seasons come that you just weren't expecting. Kinda like a storm on sea when you left the harbor with clear skies. Most of the time, at least for me, I've watched other people go through those same seasons before me and thought to myself that I would never have to walk through those things.
Promise:
That's life, and it's not the last time I'll be caught by surprise.
Thought:
I should invest in a full season of I Love Lucy. Or maybe those cartoons I loved as a kid! Laughing makes things so much better.
Seasons come that you just weren't expecting. Kinda like a storm on sea when you left the harbor with clear skies. Most of the time, at least for me, I've watched other people go through those same seasons before me and thought to myself that I would never have to walk through those things.
Promise:
That's life, and it's not the last time I'll be caught by surprise.
Thought:
I should invest in a full season of I Love Lucy. Or maybe those cartoons I loved as a kid! Laughing makes things so much better.
3
Observation:
I can't figure out how to measure pain. And if it can't be measured, how do you know what it takes to get it healed?
Promise:
He is faithful. And He knows me through and through. And it's okay that I'm weak...because then in my inadequacy he gets to be strong.
A Thought:
"Love is a good medicine." -Rick Pino lyrics
I can't figure out how to measure pain. And if it can't be measured, how do you know what it takes to get it healed?
Promise:
He is faithful. And He knows me through and through. And it's okay that I'm weak...because then in my inadequacy he gets to be strong.
A Thought:
"Love is a good medicine." -Rick Pino lyrics
2
Observation:
Learning how to capture and preserve moments requires tenderness and discipline.
Promise:
It's not as far off a goal as I think. But it still requires discipline, which is a lifelong thing.
A Thought to Ponder:
“Somewhere we know that without silence words lose their meaning, that without listening speaking no longer heals, that without distance closeness cannot cure” -Henri Nouwen
Learning how to capture and preserve moments requires tenderness and discipline.
Promise:
It's not as far off a goal as I think. But it still requires discipline, which is a lifelong thing.
A Thought to Ponder:
“Somewhere we know that without silence words lose their meaning, that without listening speaking no longer heals, that without distance closeness cannot cure” -Henri Nouwen
1
Observation:
Our minds need healing.
Promise:
What was broken is being made whole.
Thought:
Blessed is the man whose strength is in You, in whose heart are the highways to Zion! Passingthrough the valley of Baca {Weeping} they make it a spring; The early rain also covers it withblessings. They go from strength to strength, every one of them appears before God in Zion.
(Psalm 84) Selah.
Our minds need healing.
Promise:
What was broken is being made whole.
Thought:
Blessed is the man whose strength is in You, in whose heart are the highways to Zion! Passingthrough the valley of Baca {Weeping} they make it a spring; The early rain also covers it withblessings. They go from strength to strength, every one of them appears before God in Zion.
(Psalm 84) Selah.
Beautiful Love Letter
A love letter, written by Elizabeth Browning.
"No one is like you" Ever tenderest, kindest, and most beloved, I thank you from the quick of my heart, where the thought of you lives constantly ! In this world full of sadness, of which I have had my part, full of sadness and bitterness and wrong, full of most ghastly contrasts of life and death, strength and weakness side by side, it is too much to have you to hold by as the river rushes on, too much good, too much grace for such as I, as I feel always, and cannot cease to feel! . . . I pour out my thoughts to you, dearest dearest, as if it were right to think of doing myself that good and relief, than of you who have to read all. But you spoil me into an excess of liberty by your tenderness. Best in the world ! Oh, you help me to live ! I am better and lighter since I have drawn near to you even on this paper; already 1 am better and lighter, and now I am going to dream of you, to meet you on some mystical landing-place, in order to be quite well to-morrow. Oh, we are so selfish on this earth that nothing grieves us very long, let it be ever so grievous, unless we are touched in ourselves in the apple of our eye, in the quick of our heart, in what you are, and where you are, my own dearest beloved! So you need not be afraid for me. We all look to our own as I hold you; the thunderbolts may strike the tops of the cedars, and, except in the first start, none of us be moved. True it is of me, not of you perhaps; certainly you are better than I in all things. Best in the world, you are; no one is like you. Can you read what I have written? Do not love me less! Do you think that I cannot feel you love me through all this distance? If you loved me less I should know without a word or a sign. Because I live by your loving me.
"Ever, ever dearest!" How I thank you for your letter, aver beloved ! You were made perfectly to be loved, and surely I have loved you, in the idea Of you, my whole life long. Did I tell you that before, so often as I have thought it ? It is that which makes me take it all as visionary good, for when one's ideal comes down to one and walks besides one suddenly, what is it possible to do but to cry out, " a dream"? You are the best, best, and if you loved me only and altogether for pity (and I think that, more than you think, the sentiment operated on your gentle, chivalrous nature), and if you professed it to me and proved it, and I knew it absolutely, what then? As long as it was love, should I accept it less gladly, do you imagine, because of the root? Should I think it less a gift ? Should I be less grateful, or more ? Ah, I have my theory of causation about it all; but we need not dispute, and will not, on any such metaphysics. Your loving me is enough to satisfy me, and if you did it because I sat rather on a green chair than a yellow one, it would be enough still for me, only it would not for you, because your motives are as worthy as your acts, dearest! ... As for happiness, the words which you use so tenderly are in my heart already, making me happy. I am happy by you. Also, I may say solemnly that the greatest proof of love I could give you is to be happy because of you, and even you cannot judge and see how great a proof that is. You have lifted my very soul up into the light of your soul, and I am not ever likely to mistake it for the common daylight. May God bless you, ever, ever dearest!
"No one is like you" Ever tenderest, kindest, and most beloved, I thank you from the quick of my heart, where the thought of you lives constantly ! In this world full of sadness, of which I have had my part, full of sadness and bitterness and wrong, full of most ghastly contrasts of life and death, strength and weakness side by side, it is too much to have you to hold by as the river rushes on, too much good, too much grace for such as I, as I feel always, and cannot cease to feel! . . . I pour out my thoughts to you, dearest dearest, as if it were right to think of doing myself that good and relief, than of you who have to read all. But you spoil me into an excess of liberty by your tenderness. Best in the world ! Oh, you help me to live ! I am better and lighter since I have drawn near to you even on this paper; already 1 am better and lighter, and now I am going to dream of you, to meet you on some mystical landing-place, in order to be quite well to-morrow. Oh, we are so selfish on this earth that nothing grieves us very long, let it be ever so grievous, unless we are touched in ourselves in the apple of our eye, in the quick of our heart, in what you are, and where you are, my own dearest beloved! So you need not be afraid for me. We all look to our own as I hold you; the thunderbolts may strike the tops of the cedars, and, except in the first start, none of us be moved. True it is of me, not of you perhaps; certainly you are better than I in all things. Best in the world, you are; no one is like you. Can you read what I have written? Do not love me less! Do you think that I cannot feel you love me through all this distance? If you loved me less I should know without a word or a sign. Because I live by your loving me.
"Ever, ever dearest!" How I thank you for your letter, aver beloved ! You were made perfectly to be loved, and surely I have loved you, in the idea Of you, my whole life long. Did I tell you that before, so often as I have thought it ? It is that which makes me take it all as visionary good, for when one's ideal comes down to one and walks besides one suddenly, what is it possible to do but to cry out, " a dream"? You are the best, best, and if you loved me only and altogether for pity (and I think that, more than you think, the sentiment operated on your gentle, chivalrous nature), and if you professed it to me and proved it, and I knew it absolutely, what then? As long as it was love, should I accept it less gladly, do you imagine, because of the root? Should I think it less a gift ? Should I be less grateful, or more ? Ah, I have my theory of causation about it all; but we need not dispute, and will not, on any such metaphysics. Your loving me is enough to satisfy me, and if you did it because I sat rather on a green chair than a yellow one, it would be enough still for me, only it would not for you, because your motives are as worthy as your acts, dearest! ... As for happiness, the words which you use so tenderly are in my heart already, making me happy. I am happy by you. Also, I may say solemnly that the greatest proof of love I could give you is to be happy because of you, and even you cannot judge and see how great a proof that is. You have lifted my very soul up into the light of your soul, and I am not ever likely to mistake it for the common daylight. May God bless you, ever, ever dearest!
Friday, August 7, 2009
Isaiah 58:11
My convo with God tonight...
Me: "Hey...um....I'm more messed up than I realized." .tears.
Him: Silence.
Me: Open Bible.
Him: Points my eyes to Isaiah 58:11. (Literally, that's the only verse I could even read on the page. The rest disappeared.)
The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
Me: "Woah."
Him: A smile. Twinkle in the eyes, too.
Me: *sigh* (Big one).There are more for me than against me. I'm not alone. Thank You, Abba, for that great big hug. ♥
Me: "Hey...um....I'm more messed up than I realized." .tears.
Him: Silence.
Me: Open Bible.
Him: Points my eyes to Isaiah 58:11. (Literally, that's the only verse I could even read on the page. The rest disappeared.)
The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
Me: "Woah."
Him: A smile. Twinkle in the eyes, too.
Me: *sigh* (Big one).There are more for me than against me. I'm not alone. Thank You, Abba, for that great big hug. ♥
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Incomprehensible.
I'm in the execution chair, about to die. He comes over. He picks me up. I want to hug him through my tears of relief. But he sits in the chair instead. I watch him take my punishment. How do I say thank you?
Selah.
He paid what I owed with His life--so I could be made whole. And then He came back--offering fullness of life. A mystery. One I want to embrace. The Spirit moving through me, changing me, shaping me, renewing within me a right spirit.
Nothing needs to faze me now. "I'm absolutely convinced that nothing--nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable--absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Mater has embraced us." (romans 8, the message)
Selah.
He paid what I owed with His life--so I could be made whole. And then He came back--offering fullness of life. A mystery. One I want to embrace. The Spirit moving through me, changing me, shaping me, renewing within me a right spirit.
Nothing needs to faze me now. "I'm absolutely convinced that nothing--nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable--absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Mater has embraced us." (romans 8, the message)
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