Indiana Country...definitely a whole new world

I am currently in Indiana. I left Virginia Beach on Sunday evening, stayed with my mom and sister in Williamsburg that night, and left the next morning for Maryland. Once I got home, I had about an hour to both unpack two years worth of my life onto the floor of my basement (via the unloading of my stuffed car), and then quickly pack a small bag in order to travel to a state I've never visited, working on a project for which I don't feel qualified (besides having a lot of passion for the documentary topic).

I like Indiana. It's different than any place I've visited; very spacious.

Today my friends and I went to get our first interview for the documentary. It was amazing to sit in the room and listen to the story of a man who has lived many more years than me. He is a former teacher who loves playing music. Just a few years ago he found out he has a terminal illness. As he started to share about first discovering the illness and receiving the doctor's report that gave him two to nine years to live, his eyes started welling up and a single tear went down his right cheek. I was the one interviewing him, and I almost lost it. Then came his next statement. He began to share about how thankful he is to have the chance to still be alive and to learn to love the Lord even more.

Even after two years of being in a school where we talk incessantly about stories and how they can move people, I still get the strength kicked out of my knees when I listen to stories like this man's. I feel humbled to know that men like him exist, who have walked through dark valleys and still there is a song of praise on their lips.

Right now we are back home, preparing the next days schedule where we will accompany the man to his morning hang out at the local gas station. He and his friends meet there every morning at 7 a.m. to have coffee together and to fellowship. I'm really excited. My friends, Joe and Dan, just went outside to play frisbee, and I'm here on the floor of this home in Indiana, trying to collect my thoughts and unpack the last two weeks. It may take a lot longer than the few minutes I have at the moment.

However, I did have a chance to read over some of the journal entries I wrote back in April (when I actually had time to journal). I'm glad that I did. They reminded me of some things...including a conversation I had with my roommate Audrey, who, when I told her how inadequate I was feeling in certain areas, replied, "I know you are trying to be nice, buy you not acknowledging God's anointing on you could reduce His ability to use you..."

Some journal thoughts...
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"He has delivered us from darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love."

Challenge of next season: stop hiding. stop allowing fear to hold me back from stepping out.

I am not aimless. i'm being prepared by my Father, and He is wisdom.

What I feel stirring in my heart: I'm called to love. To see heaven invade earth. To see my generation walk in sonship. To see right thinking restored.

I am excited for wild country ahead. I want to be brave and honest, but too often I find myself participating in gossip and bringing dishonor to those who God loves. I find myself caught in the tension of wanting to be a leader and wanting to be a loner. There are so many things that I don't understand, and sometimes I grow weary with trying to figure them out or with listening to others talk like they've figured them out.

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And I think I've started to scratch the surface of why Joan of Arc and Samwise and Joseph (the husband of Mary) are some of the characters (both in fiction and non-fiction) that I look up to...but I will save that for another blog.