My Condition

This is my condition—how I want to live my life.
PovertyofSpirit.Hunger.Thirst.PurityofHeart.Meekness.Gentleness.Perseverance.Love.Salt.Light.Peacemaker.Repentace.Forgiveness.HolyasHeisHoly.Avoice.
The face of revival.
“The servant is the greatest of all.”
I’m convinced…
The best lover=the best servant.
Cause the best lover is the best friend
And best friends will fight for one another. And even shed their blood for the other.

Whether you say you love me or if you never do. It doesn’t matter. Man’s opinion only carries so much weight these days.
Whether you are here one day and forget about me the next. It’s okay.
Whether you like my style or my way of speaking…
Or you don’t.
It doesn’t matter.
Cause I used to live to please you. Now I see that I was living in a grave, buried under the pursuit of making man happy. The day I saw where I was sleeping at night and living during the day, in a place of death, my perspective changed. Now, I’m after life--the narrow road--the one where my heart seeks to make Him alone smile.

My mind is already made up.
And no man or woman can defer me from my pursuit-
No matter how compelling their arguments or concerns—
Even if it’s my mom or dad or closest friend.
Cause I’ve found One who has wrecked me.
One who has ruined me for normal—for anything but the supernatural.
His love washes over me as I wake in the morning,
And He watches me as I sleep at night, pouring out on me His fragrance.
I can’t escape the pursuit of His heart as He chases after me.
And I don’t want to.
I’m gonna do this thing—run this race.
Cause it’s worth it.
And I’m going to give it everything I’ve got—
Nothing is as sweet as surrender to a Lover.
Cause a lover knows you through and through.
And a lover’s kisses equip you for the battle—
A battle that is raging against those who I love.
I need those kisses. I need that sword.

There is a Kingdom that holds treasures of heaven.
That’s what I’m after.
I’m after His heart.
And whether I marry or not, have kids or not, build orphanages or not, finish college or not, go into ministry or not, have friends or not, make money or not, travel or not, shift unrighteous atmospheres or not—my heart will not waver from the place of being a seeker.
Not a seek to “find”. Cause I’ve already been found by Him—pulled out of the grave by His tender and strong hand.
But a seek to KNOW deeply. That’s the seeking I mean. A seeking that must know what He’s like—no matter what it costs. What makes Him laugh and smile and dance…and even cry?
What it is that causes His legs to leap as He rejoices over me with singing?
I want to know that song well. And I want Him to teach me that dance.
What is it that brings his eyes to tears? I want to cry with Him. To feel what He feels. To have my heart break over what has broken His heart.
One life.
That’s all I’ve got.
Wasted time doesn’t appeal to me.
Surface pursuits don’t satisfy this longing.
I’ve been ruined. Wrecked. Bulldozed over. Mauled with waves of His love. Drowned in His ocean.
I can’t go back. Ever.
Not after I've tasted true freedom and life.