Tonight I went to church, and it was the first time in probably a few years that I didn't try to escape early or find excuses to preoccupy myself during the service.  That's breakthrough.

During worship, a drum beat carried one of the songs at the beginning, and all I could think about was a story I heard while driving through South Dakota, about the importance of drum beats to Native American cultures.  They viewed the beats as something that spoke of the circle of life, that brought them into a place of almost "worship" and focus.  They were totally onto something.  There is something about how a drum can awaken you and start to realign things just by its sound and rhythm.  As the song progressed, it became a prayer, for heaven to come to earth, where all that is right and beautiful in heaven would become evident where we temporarily take up residence.

There was something about the beat and the words of that song that started to stir my heart in a way it hasn't felt in a while.  Something I've been praying lately is, "Jesus, can you teach me how to love you again" but I always meant it in comparison with past seasons that I've had with Him that have been really sweet.  Tonight I just felt Him say, "Stop trying to make right now a past season.  It's going to be a whole new one.  A whole new way of falling in love."  That did it for me.  I just wanted to stay in that church service all night because everything about His presence was so tangible and sweet, and I felt Him dig in deep and start healing places of bitterness and disappointment I've had with "church".  It was amazing, miraculous, and so good to actually not want to leave church.