I feel like the motto of a few generations back was very much along the lines of "work hard. sacrifice for those you love. don't expect things to come without effort."  Mostly, I base this "conclusion" from conversations I've had with my grandmother's over the years, finding out from them first hand what life was like for them and how people dealt with both the hard and beautiful things.

As I was driving home from bio lab tonight, where we talked about the application of the scientific method in scientific lab writing, I found myself making my own observations about life, particularly my own life.  

Growing up in a generation that has known computers, high tech televisions, microwaves, fast weight loss methods (that end up hurting more than helping), "no exercise" exercise plans, youtube, facebook, smart phones....and the list doesn't stop because probably at this very second, a brand new invention will further add to the "convenience" and ease of life...

we are a generation that knows how to use what another generation would call toys, and make them a central part of our existence. 

Except, where these incredible inventions have found ways to speed up processes and provide access to information that generations past never imagined could happen in their wildest dreams,  there still remains the age old truth that it takes hard work to get anywhere worth going.  As that old saying goes (oh wait, I actually can't remember it, so I will just paraphrase...), don't live for the fifteen minutes of fame. 

Maybe every hard seasons feels more difficult than the last, (so I take that into account when I make this statement)...

this is one of the harder, if not hardest, seasons of adjustment I've been through.  But I look back on all the other things that I've walked through and see how they've built and prepared me for now.  Blessings in an unexpected form.  God showing up in the more mundane things to bring wonder and brilliance and joy, teaching me how to live in His kindness even on days that feel dull and far from the destination I am trying to reach.  

Filling up my gas tank tonight after driving home from class, I found myself reflecting on how my observation of life currently is, "This is so hard."  Trying to fit work, an 8 hour a week commute, family, church, relationships, classes, studying...all into the span of just a few hours.  It's tiring.  But as I was pouring out my complaint in prayer, I started to see how my observation was correct in terms of how much is going on right now in life, but then I felt a change in my attitude towards that observation.  I started to see how my generation's "I want it now" mindset has influenced my perspective on things more than I realized.  Instead of wanting to pay the price to learn chemistry and biology, which requires hard work, I want it to all make sense right away, without any effort on my part.  Usually that's not how I approach school, but it is the attitude I am (was) embracing at that moment.  I then got even more honest with myself...

I so often start things full of big hopes and ambition, only to fizzle out.  I'm guilty of being commited to a vision that gets discouraged fast.  Whether it be training for a 5K, writing a screen play, starting a garden in the backyard, practicing piano...etc etc etc....lately I've been much more likely to cave in to disillusionment than to press through the hard parts, fueled by a bigger picture.  

So I decided that after the scientific method that I applied to my own life tonight,  the ball is in my court to make some changes.  If it wasn't hard, would it even be worth pursuing? What would a story be without some tension, without something to overcome and fight for?  

I feel a renewed sense of purpose.  And it's funny: I also feel less overwhelmed. I feel like there is so much opportunity in this season, with such room for growth in every way. It's okay that I don't understand ALL of chemistry and ALL of biology right now, at this very second.  I'll never know it all.  Learning is a process.  But if I work hard, I can learn the concepts and principles and rules that I need as building blocks for the future coursework.    And more than anything, I feel God teaching me again what it means to live underneath His smile every day--to sense His pleasure at every moment--to know that no matter what comes of life, I am His and He is mine, and that's enough. 

One day at a time. 

Amazing grace.