the only choice now:

is that i can't turn back.

I never understood why people used the word wrecked to describe an effect of extravagant love. now i do.

the minute i saw you running down that lane, i wanted to run the other way. i was angry that you cared that much. i was angry that you wanted me back. i don't deserve that kind of love. you met me there on that road, God. you met me there after i broke your heart a zillion times. you met me there after i let bitterness creep in and woundedness whisper lies to me about your character. you met me there even after i denied your friendship..and i've known you my whole life. i betrayed you.

Abba, i don't get it. this love. but i understand how wrecked is sometimes the only description to adequately convey what happens under the weight of your love. it sounds almost violent. but it is violent.

God, i'm wrecked. i have no choice. i must follow you.