Physics is over! Well, at least for a semester. Celebration will involve lots of art: films, photography, writing, books...whatever I can do to feed my right brain!
As I was studying today before the final exam, I was freaking out over how I thought I knew formulas but they felt like they weren't coming together and questions like, "What if I fail? What was the point of even moving here if I can't even pass this class?" were hitting me hard.
And then a thought stopped me in my tracks. Well, more like a picture that found words and became a thought.
A memory came back to me. A memory of children-- children I've had the honor to meet in my life in communities where education isn't readily available.
And my thoughts turned toward a little girl, one much like the girls I read about last year in a class I took regarding human trafficking. A girl working insane hours every day of the week, all of her youth poured into another person's dreams. In her situation, education isn't even an option.
Yet there I was, sitting with a laptop, surrounded by stacks of notes and a formula sheet that demonstrate three months of knowledge gained from getting to sit in a classroom in one of the greatest universities, surrounded by curious and hard working students. With the opening of a tab and the click of a mouse, I have access to worlds of knowledge that can cause growth and expansion in my life. That's my reality.
The contrasting picture-turned-thought produced a reality check: whether I fail the exam or not, I am still finishing this semester with information that will stick with me forever, and I've grown in my understanding of science, which in turn has given me an even greater appreciation for life, seeing motion in deeper ways.
Education is a gift to be appreciated and valued--but not one that should be restricted. Doesn't the opportunity to learn make me in some way indebted to the girl who is giving her life unwillingly for another's dream? There is a difference between a bond slave and slave. The first has a choice, the latter does not. She does not. But what if I can make myself a bond slave to her? What if she and I are connected more deeply than can be imagined, and what if the very nature of opportunity is meant to equip in order to give back, to give those without hope of rescue a chance? I can't help but feel that I have a responsibility to her. A responsibility to take my studies seriously. To see this time as a gift. To recognize that training is a place of expansion, so that I can then go and use what I've gained as an offering to those who may never have a chance unless I both care and prepare.
Love is a different motivator than ambition, but love still drives a heart to pay a price because the end result is worth it. And I want to learn Love in that way. And I want to become love in that way-- to "turn our prayers into outrageous dares" as Jeff Tweedy would say. To believe that my small life and your small life, and our small lives together, can really matter to the beautiful hearts in the world who don't yet know freedom.
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