Boston in the Fall

Recently I noticed many words in my vocabulary are spoken with an added definition of "hard" tacked onto their denotation.

physics--the branch of science concerned with the nature and properties of matter and energy, with movement. The subject matter of physics, distinguished from that of chemistry and biology, includes mechanics, heat, light and other radiation, sound, electricity, magnetism, and the structure of atoms. HARD.


traffic-- vehicles moving on a road or public highway. HARD.

parallel parking-- the parking of a vehicle parallel to the roadside. HARD.

Boston-- The capital and largest city of Massachusetts, in the eastern part of the state on Boston Bay, an arm of Massachusetts Bay. Founded in the 17th century, it was a leading center of agitation against England in the 18th century and a stronghold of abolitionist thought in the 19th century. Today it is a major commercial, financial, and educational hub. Population: 591,000. HARD.

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My dad gets on the phone with me as I, close to crying, explain how I can't figure out where to park, will definitely be late for class, maybe I should turn around, I may not have enough quarters for the meter, I don't even know where the class is in the first place and it's dark out and I have no friends and the city is big.  Hard.  And he says take a deep breath.  He reminds me that life is bigger than that present moment, that present fear, that present shake in confidence.  

That was the first day going into Cambridge.  It took me an hour or more to park.  There were two men doing roadwork next to me, and they were the face of kindness in my panic, helping me figure out if I would get a ticket if I parked on Mass Ave for more than two hours.  They asked me if I was an Orioles fan.  I said yes tentatively (Red Sox territory), but they smiled, I smiled, they said, "Good.  They're a good team.  Good luck in class!" and I rushed off with them behind me, cheering for me to be victorious.  

Once I settled that, I struggled to find the class.  I was 45 minutes late for physics 1.  But I found it.  I pressed through.  I didn't think I had it in me to press through, but I did.  For most people, that may have been a typical day in their world, no problem, no struggle.  Just drive, park, walk to class.  For me, it was a confronting of multiple fears, and inside of that movement there was a coming of age evolution.  

The semester is now entering the third week.  The class is still hard.  It stretches my brain, calling on me to remember trigonometry, geometry, algebraic manipulations-- things I haven't used in years, and definitely didn't use while immersing myself in the world of journalism and filmmaking.  But here I am, not sure if the end will be "success" in terms of a brilliant grade, but confident that there is a different kind of success I'm walking into, and that the end is good.  

I know enough about the brain from books and articles to know that the brain has the ability to build new pathways.  And as I look at that spiritually, I know that as I embrace negative thoughts of defeat, it is like I am building a highway in my brain where my thoughts get stuck telling a certain kind of story.  Yet the renewing mind part of scripture keeps prodding at me, offering hope, but requiring discipline.  To take every thought captive.  To be serious about looking at what I'm thinking and ask, "Is this the story I want my life to tell?" and from there, adjusting to a thinking position that is full of faith, full of Kingdom. 

So those are highlights of my adventure so far.  I am looking forward to the weather that's already starting to change to fall.  I also found an awesome spot to kayak.  Now that's good for the heart.  

Off to another day of learning, growing.  Not sure where all this leads, but I'm learning to keep my thoughts victorious even in the middle of question marks and uncertainty.