passing time

Currently sitting in the Houston airport, about an hour away from boarding my plane for Baltimore-Washington Airport, watching people pass by. Most are either meandering to their gate or rushing to a plane that's taking off soon. I'm listening to Jamie Cullum because my friend Aaron reminded me of how much I enjoy him, and rekindled the love I have for that piano playing musician that Garric first fanned in my heart--

"What a difference a day makes/24 little hours"

Oh how true that is in life. 24 little hours can change everything. I can't necessarily say that I have had that experience in an extreme sense, but I know that such moments exist that shift and change everything. One day in my life I will have one and it will be brilliant.

excerpt from The Road

"You have to carry the fire."
I don't know how to."
Yes, you do."
Is the fire real? The fire?"
Yes it is."
Where is it? I don't know where it is."
Yes you do. It's inside you. It always was there. I can see it."

for such a time as this

In one day, I will be on a plane, heading back to the United States. The time I've spent in Mexico has been one of the richest trips I've taken in a long time. I can tell that I've grown since my last international trip because I don't let little distractions steal me away from the adventure.

Yesterday and today I had the honor of spending time with some amazing new friends. Yesterday, I spent time with friends in Merida. They showed me the market, where we ate typical food for the culture, and then we went to visit a statue that was made by a Columbian artist who fell in love with Merida. The statue tells a brief history of Mexico. It is exquisite. Then, we went into an old building that is now a place of work for government officials. There were paintings everywhere, describing with picture some of the monumental moments, transitions and people in Mexico's history. Most of the time I was just stunned by the richness of this land, and it sparked in me a hunger to study the history of Mexico.

Today I went to Campeche, and youth from the camp took me to key places in that state. Again, I was totally awestruck. Literal fortresses and castles are all across the coast, where the Spaniards set up canons to defend themselves against pirates from other parts of the world.

As I was soaking in a bit of the history, ranging from the colonization of Mexico, to the mysterious disappearance of the Mayan tribe, to the rise of different revolutionaries who brought the nation into a new era, sometimes for good and sometimes for bad...

I began to think about my life and the lives of all those in my generation, and the phrase "for such a time as this" kept pounding in my heart.

For such a time as this. For such a time as this. For such a time as this.

you are here for such a time as this. you have been given TIME. one of the greatest of gifts. you have been given the chance to shape history with your life, to redeem the time, to contribute to how the story will go and what generations to come will read about.

that excites me. it stirs me up. it gives fuel to my voice and passion to my heart.

a statue may never tell our story, but we can make sure heaven does. we can make sure that our story is bringing heaven to earth, joining the ranks of the heroes of faith as they trusted God despite all odds and all obstacles.

Tonight, I feel a fire rekindling in my heart. A fire to see my generation alive to God and in love with Him, saying yes to Him no matter what.

community and laundry

Today, I got to spend the morning with my new friend Pepe, and then I got to spend an amazing afternoon with my new friend Ali. She took me to this adorable place to eat in Merida, and we had such a good time just talking and hanging out. It was an afternoon of feeling fully alive, and I was so thankful for those moments of fellowship. It reminded me of why I so appreciate and value community.

Then, I went walking through the city (by myself!) to pick up my laundry. It was so much fun. I so wish that I knew more Spanish, because I think it would have been more enjoyable. But there is still something invigorating about making it through a place that is unfamiliar without getting lost.

This trip has been amazing.

satisfied heart

Two days ago, I completed a three day youth camp in Mexico, where most of the time I had to speak in Spanish in order to communicate. I didn't know what to expect from the whole adventure. It ended up being one of the best times I've had in a very long time, and as I was immersing myself in the whole expedition, I realized that God satisfies dreams that we don't even know exist in our hearts. I wonder if that's what it means when Scripture says He does above what we ask, think, imagine--that He does beyond what we even knew we desired.

My heart is satisfied. :)

my prayer

"I hope you always forgive, and you never regret..."

Babysitting has become my side career. If I could put that down on a resume as job experience (which it totally is), I would have some impressive qualifications. I may not be the greatest writer, or ever make it to NY Times level journalism, but I sure do know how to make an awesome grilled cheese sandwich.

Lately, I've found myself turning to a prayerful kind of thinking when I'm around some of the children I watch on a regular basis. Many of my hopes for them turn into a conversation with God, "Hey Abba, what are they going to become? Will they desire you? Will they overcome the tough stuff, and become stronger because of it? I hope so. Make it so."

I'm not sure how long I'll be in their lives, or if they will even remember me a year from now, but I know that I will remember them. I think babysitting makes me even more thankful for the good teachers who exist in this world. After a parent, I wonder if there is any role more vital in a child's life than that of a good teacher, and as a babysitter, I get a small taste of the privilege of being involved in someone's formational years.

And I find myself more aware of the responsibility I carry...we carry...to a younger generation. I pray that they learn that forgiveness is a main ingredient of a beautiful person, that regret is not worth carrying, and that love conquers evil all the time, even if it doesn't make sense or seem like it right away. And I pray that their hearts long for Jesus, and that cultural Christianity wouldn't water down the adventure of living life with Him. I pray that whatever life throws their way, there would be a grace to overcome, and a joy unspeakable, full of glory.

As I go to Mexico, I am praying these things for the kids there too. That God would capture their hearts with the incredible generosity and goodness of His heart, and that they would say yes to following Him and never look back.

earth confronted with heaven

Tomorrow, I am heading to Mexico to help with a youth retreat. I feel excited and honored to be a part of the lives of people who I've never met. I have no idea what to expect, which is different than most every international trip I've taken.

Tonight as I was praying and trying to pick which books to bring with me as heart nourishment during the flight, I pulled down Tozer's book "Knowledge of the Holy" and opened up to the preface. The very first sentence floored me. It put into a few words what my heart is longing to see manifested in my life:

"True religion confronts earth with heaven and brings eternity to bear upon time."

To see healing and deliverance everywhere, where the Spirit of God breathes life and hope, invading the hopeless and weak, the forgotten and misunderstood, the bound and tortured, the confused and aimless...

that to me is a portion of what it means to confront earth with heaven,

and I want to see that more and more.

"True religion confronts earth with heaven and brings eternity to bear upon time."

-A.W. Tozer,

The Knowledge of the Holy

... in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

-kahlil gibran

Be Loved

There is something hopeful about a crossroad, a transition. Even in the uncertainty of not knowing what is next, there is something beautiful about the potential of what is becoming.

Over the past few weeks, I've been all over the place, from California, to North Carolina, to Connecticut. In a few days I will be on my way to Mexico, and that is as far as my life plans go as of today. Other than having solidly booked plane tickets and a set in stone return date back to the States, everything else in life feels up in the air.

If I really think about that reality, in my own understanding it gives way to waves of fear that I respond to with striving for a plan and analyzing "my" options in order to find some security for what's ahead. I try hard to remember all the promises God's given to me and all the dreams that are in my heart, and once I make a list of them, I then figure out on my own how they are going to come about.

You would think that after all these years, I would know by now that such planning never works.

On my way home from California, I barely slept on a red eye flight. I wanted to watch the sky change as the sunrise approached. While I was looking out the window, I felt as if I was parallel with the Big Dipper, and if I just could have safely stretched my hand out the window, maybe I could have touched the stars. Looking back on this memory, I am struck by the way constellations reflect aspects of the Maker's character. Whether there are earthquakes or storms or famine on the earth, the stars still hold their place. Same with God's love. Regardless of what life throws at me, or what I throw at it, God's love maintains a steady course that doesn't waver in its affection for me.

And in this I find a peace that meets and overcomes all my striving and wondering. To be loved. That is all there is for me to do, knowing that God is a keeper, and His love is stronger than anything I could even imagine. And what if that is really the only thing that I need to know-- that I am loved--and that love is the strongest compass, always pointing the way to true north...