My dad asked me to accompany him to a meeting where planned parenthood was hosting an information session to help raise funds for the Frederick area clinics. I didn't realize what my non-confrontational self was about to experience. My dad went to be a voice for the voiceless, even if no one else agreed with him.
No one else did agree with him.
He was booed a few times and asked to be quiet, with people saying that religion needed to be taken out of the whole discussion. To be fair, the man leading the discussion actually handled all of the intensity in the room very diplomatically, and did answer my dad's questions, although in a round about way that stayed true to the stance that life does not begin at conception.
People in the room saw me walk in with my dad, even though I sat in the very back and he walked straight up to the front to sit down where the speaker was standing. After he asked the first question, they moved their chairs away from me. I wanted to get up and leave as soon as he raised his hand the first time, scared of the hostility about to erupt. I couldn't decide if I felt like Peter denying Jesus or like a child who wanted to approach it with a kind of meekness that would be more effective.
Yet, is that meekness I was wanting to interject into the whole atmosphere even what Jesus meant when he said that the meek would inherit the earth? Or have I come to embrace a definition for meekness that is crafted by the culture surrounding me, keeping me quiet when I really should say something? I am so confused about the desire of God's heart for action in this hour. However, I am not confused over where I stand on the life issue. Life at conception is a stance that I want to defend, even if unpopular. However, I do have confusion over how that is done correctly, in a way that is Love driven. And love driven does not equate to diluted truth, which is a place where I do think the church has caved in many ways.
And now I'm left wondering several things, with questions that are growing in intensity, yet seem to have no answer at the moment. These questions I'm asking feel high priority because they matter more than I realize. Not so that I can develop a political stance or align myself with a party. These questions matter because a battle is being handed over to my generation that is thick with controversy, and the heart of it seems to be linked to how we define and value life, which is a direct reflection of how we see God.
Our culture is one that has embraced secular humanism. I don't care who disagrees with me, I'm not changing my opinion on that one. That brand of humanism is defined as
as a secularphilosophy that espouses human reason, ethics, and justice, and the search for human fulfillment. It specifically rejects religious dogma,supernaturalism, pseudoscience or superstition as the basis of morality and decision-making.
People shut down anything that would prohibit them from pursuing their brand and definition of happiness when guided by this philosophy. It has in its framework an idea of a utopia where everyone is free, submitted to their own created moral compass, with no one challenging or questioning it. Or something like that? I'm still thinking through all of this, and it is heavy and important.
Thus the question a woman asked tonight: "WHY would Arizona pass a law that says a woman must look at her sonogram before having an abortion? That is disgusting!" To which I wanted to reply, "Why is that a problem if there is nothing that would show signs of life in the sonogram?" ---
Because a sonogram does show signs of life, and the woman who asked the question didn't want a woman to be affected emotionally, possibly changing her mind after seeing the sonogram. She didn't want there to be any reason to change her stance.
That was the point in the evening where I wanted to break down in tears as the reality hit me of how easily we shape our definition of truth to fit into a life of ease. Ease that leads to death when it gets to the end of the story.
Oh comfort, how far have we fallen in the midst of your deception?! Is there a way to redeem, to restore, what has been lost? To cleanse minds and hearts, renewing with Truth?
During the meeting, I found myself wanting to run to a cave and hide from this discussion. I wanted to be neutral, quiet, disinterested. Yet, I know that there is no neutrality. I can't be Switzerland. Not now. Not ever. I need to know where I stand. I need to get God's heart. I need His love to take away my fear.
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