the love of God has never changed

Nanny and I had a leisurely brunch this Saturday morning, eating an omelette with some toast, instead of our normal oatmeal. As we were sitting, not saying much, I sat back in my chair and just listened. A JJ Heller album was playing in the other room at a low sound, barely audible unless you blocked out all the other noises and focused in on the sound waves coming out of the little piece of technology several feet away. The words caught me in my tracks, washing over me with a sort of prayer to Abba that was returned with a promise from Him for this day and for this time:

"I have unanswered prayers/ I have trouble I wish wasn't there/ And I have asked a thousand ways/ That you would take my pain away/ I am trying to understand/ How to walk this weary land/ Make straight the paths that crookedly lie/ Oh Lord, before these feet of mine.

When my world is shaking, heaven stands. / When my heart is breaking, I never leave Your hands.

When you walked upon the Earth/ You healed the broken, lost, and hurt/ I know You hate to see me cry/ One day You will set all things right/ Yea, one day You will set all things right.

Your hands, your hands that shape the world/ Are holding me, they hold me still."

Yes, God. Make straight the paths that crookedly lie before these feet of mine. Amen.

A few minutes after the song finished, my grandma suggested that I start writing a book, and that the topic should be about my own life. I'm not sure how entertaining a read that would be, but maybe it would be a good exercise--a good reminder of how faithful God has been in every ebb and flow, valley and mountain, to always direct my steps and lead me into a deeper love relationship with Him. It's like he intentionally orchestrates these moments where desperation for His presence is my only response, and where He meets me in ways no human could ever meet me.

And then these words from a Jason Upton song start to stir in my heart:

My house is built upon a stone; a stone so rarely built upon I feel quite foolish and naive...I've been the blind man on the road. I've been the boy running back home. I've been the sinner and the saint, but the love of God has never changed."

In this life story of mine, the one that belongs to Him, this truth remains and keeps me:

the love of God has never changed.