“Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves, when our dreams have come true because we have dreamed too little, when we arrive safely because we have sailed too close to the shore.

“Disturb us, Lord, when with the abundance of things we possess, we have lost our thirst for the waters of life; having fallen in love with life, we have ceased to dream of eternity; and in our efforts to build a new earth, we have allowed our vision of the new heaven to dim.

“Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly, to venture on wider seas where storms will show your mastery; where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars. We ask you to push back the horizons of our hopes; and to push us into the future in strength, courage, hope, and love.”
--Prayer of Sir Francis Drake

something to ponder

"Do we form no friendships because our friends might be taken from us? Do we refuse to love because we may be hurt? Do we forsake our dreams because hope has been deferred? To desire is to open our hearts to the possibility of pain; to shut down our hearts is to die altogether...In the face of this quandary most people decide to bury the whole question and put as much distance as they can between themselves and their desires. It is a logical and tragic act. The tragedy is increased tenfold when this suicide of soul is committed under the conviction that this is precisely what Christianity recommends. We have never been more mistaken" (John Eldredge ~ Desire)

California

This is my second day in Redding, visiting my little sister for Thanksgiving break.

I came here to share in an adventure with my sister who I love dearly, but I also felt like God had it in HIs heart for me to come here at this time. I am ready for a refreshing from the Holy Spirit, but also for a bursting of dreams and a leading into what is next.

I guess in 12 days I will have more to write on the subject of what God is going to do while I am here tons of miles away from what is familiar.

I am excited and so very thankful.

inspired by Julie Meyer (a sermon I heard her preach)

"David, along with Joseph, had an unbelievable promise. SOMETIMES you step right into that promise. Sometimes first you go to jail." -julie meyers

When the story comes full circle, may we look back with the eyes of papa and say, "GOD set this up for good."

What is written about your life in the book that lasts for eternity? Even in the jailhouse, what is your testimony saying?

Hard questions I am asking myself. I want my heart to be full of faith, even when the dream does come right away. Even when no one is looking, our Father is watching.

"We live for the promise, and we set our hearts to get there, but sometimes God sets up divine delays. And in that divine delay, that is the place that God is looking into you to see what is really in your heart. Because He not only creates us to be great, but he wants us great on the depths of the inside. That's true greatness...greatness within us, no matter what season we are in."

"God is always about restoration. Always, always, always."

Even when you feel overlooked, God knows where you are. And God is the only One that counts.

"And David behaved wisely in all his ways. And the Lord was with him."

Psalm 27:4 "One thing I ask of the Lord, and this is what I will seek all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord." <------who David was at the core, regardless of what he achieved or lost...a lover of God.

Don't let what you do define who you are. Be a lover first.

Psalm 75 "Promotion does not come from the east or the west or the south. It comes from God. God raises one up. God presses another down." <----it's the hand of God. And in the season of God pressing you down, that's where He tests your heart. Can you still be a lover there? Will you still believe? How will you set your heart in those moments?

Psalm 84 "Blessed is the man whose strength is in You, whose heart is set on pilgrimage. As they pass through the valley of baca [weeping], they make it a spring. The rain also covers it with pools. They go from strength to strength..." <-----the key to walking through the Valley of Baca is to KEEP walking. Don't build your house on "poor me" street.

"This too shall pass..." both in the hard times and in the times of favor.

Remember: this season will one day be your history in God. So make it a good one.

do not be moved...

...by fame, favor, finance.

Set your heart. Be lovesick for Jesus.

That's where the ideas of heaven come from--the ideas that change the atmosphere and transform culture.

May the righteous make a statement for God in every sector of society, bold in what God has placed in their hearts, totally surrendered to Him.

nothing less

I wanna be the real deal. In a time when the church is following the lead of the world, trading sincere love for marketing schemes, I ant to be genuine. I want to love from a deep place--I will see that love set people free. The sacrifice Jesus made will not go to waste in my life.

Abba, teach me how to live from the heart, even if it means I get mocked. Work courage of conviction into my heart There's no time to waste...

I don't want polished human ability. I want the raw life of the Spirit.

pick up a pen

take out paper.

dream big, even the big that is scary.

write it down.

teach them to long

“If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea” ( Antoine de Saint-Exupery)

thank you, Audrey

‎"Perfect love is rare indeed - for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain." --Leo Buscaglia.

"Big thinking precedes great achievement." -Wilferd Peterson

Lessons with Anne

My time in Delaware is coming to an end. In less than two days I will pack up my car and head home, back into the unknown.

Next door to where I am staying lives an elderly lady named Anne. She has the most beautiful white hair and a smile that is so full of love. But don't let the smile fool you, because that lady has zero time for beating around the bush. She tells it to me like it is, and I love her for it.

Over the past few months I would stop in to see Anne--mostly to talk about Jesus with her and to catch up on life. I don't think I've experienced fellowship like that in a long time. Her relationship with Jesus is so real and so alive--and her discernment is right on, too. There were days when God would be dealing with me about something, and I would walk into her house and she would know exactly what was going on. Then we would pray, and I would feel things shift. I think she was part of the reason I made it through the past few months of hard work. Her prayers are potent.

Tonight I stopped by for the last time while living in Delaware. I went knowing that I may never see her again after this visit--until heaven. It was a night that I will not forget, one of conversation that was full of wisdom, as she shared with me stories from her years of experience. I felt like I was living in moments that gold could not purchase--it was that precious.

As I was about to leave, she gave me a gift. It was a picture of a geranium that she purchased years ago while living in Connecticut, from a local artist. This morning she found it and thought of me. I cried a bit. When I asked her about the type of flower, she said, "It's what you are. It can grow anywhere." I will never forget that moment of encouragement that brought such life to my spirit.

She said lots of other things--I need to dedicate a whole post to just her words of wisdom. But even without the words, her spirit delivers the message--one of freedom and of living life from the heart. I am so thankful that I met her on my journey. Her face is one that I will never forget.

psalm 119:32

"I shall run the way of Thy Commandments, for Thou wilt enlarge my heart."

Amplified says," I will not merely walk but I will run the way of your Commandments,

back from a hiatus

"the spirit of man is the lamp of the Lord, searching all the inner depths of his heart."
-proverbs 20:27

My blog hiatus is now over, and it may take some time to actually formulate words again. I'm sure there are many thoughts from the past month or so that will eventually make it onto the computer screen...

That being said, it's been a busy few months. My stint in politics is over, and I feel myself craving academia and art and adventure. I'm thrilled by the idea that there are no limits--that God is faithful to my heart because He's the one who formed it and placed dreams on the inside of me. Sometimes I wonder if the times He takes us through that are uncomfortable and "out of our element" are partly meant to remind us of what we are meant to do, creating an intensity inside of us that will pursue that call even when things get rough.

I wonder exactly what it means to have the inner depths of the heart searched out; if it is both a purging and a stirring. I'm sure that it is full of paradox, just like the Kingdom.

The purging of the last few months came at high levels of heat--working long hours in close quarters, seven days a week. There were times where I felt like I was observing myself from outside of myself, wondering what choices I would make and if I would pursue love. I failed multiple times, wondering if the prodigal child really does make it home to the Father in the end, scared that I would allow myself to harden up when things didn't go how I may have desired.

But God is faithful, and He is always there, ready to give a big hug. He gave me lots of hugs over the past few months, and for that I am still alive. :) Some of those hugs came in the form of real flesh--people who have become like family to me--people who I would give my life for if it was ever necessary. I don't think money can buy that kind of an experience; one where I am challenged to love more deeply and more fully--and where I get to experience that same kind of love from others. It's better than all the gold in the world.

There is so much more to write, I'm sure. It will come...

For now, I am just going where I feel the Holy Spirit lead, and I know that it will continue to be more than worth any sacrifice that must be paid.

God, thank you for your faithfulness.