25 m.p.h.

May 8. 2009. 2:12.
afternoon.

I was driving home on back roads today. On those roads, the speed limit never goes over 25 mph. I have this bad habit of not checking how fast I go when I'm on those roads, lost in thought and music, which results in driving a lot faster than five over.

Today was different. My sister got pulled over yesterday for speeding....on a similar back road. Three points on her record. A large fine. Lots of hassle with trying to get those points off.

And I've been guilty of the exact same thing...just somehow I've never been caught.

So today I paid attenion. I looked down at my speedometer once and noticed I was nearing 40 in the 25. I slowed down FAST, looking around to see if any cops were hiding in the bushes, just waiting for me to come around the corner. The people behind me didn't seem rushed. I was expecting them to ride my bumper and then quickly pass me, and it surprised me when they didn't.

I came to the stop light--the miraculous passage way that exits 25 mph and enters the zone of 40 mph. You better believe that once I got into the new speed limit section, I went straight up to 40. In about a second I was up to 45, so HAPPY to drive faster than what felt like crawling.

And then it hit me. I HATE going slow. Not just in driving, but in life. I hate it when things take a long time. When I have to slow down and I don't understand why besides a dumb sign standing on the side of the road. When life switches from 40 mph down to 20 and then back to 40, it's hard for me to make those transitions graciously. Maybe that's why I've never actually fallen in love or written that story I've been meaning to write for years. I just like to GO and not stop. I hate to stop. I hate hate hate hate hate it.

And that is not a good thing.

I wonder if I'm so critical of life's pace changing because I don't understand the reason. If I think it's because of a dumb sign that was placed on the side of the road to spite me, I'm going to miss the brilliance of a moment in being wrapped up in frustration...a moment that could be a perfect opportunity to plan for when things start moving fast again. (Ok, I'm still not convinced of this, but I'm working on it...)

When life slows down, I gotta learn to roll with it. And when it speeds up again, I gotta be alright with that too. Cause for some reason, which could have something to do with growing up in an area that is surrounded by fast moving folks, I have a really hard time appreciating the slow. I think I'm missing something if I'm not moving quick. But what if the exact opposite is the case? What if I'm missing a huge quality of life factor because I never embrace slowing down?

Yeah. I'm still chewing on these thoughts...trying to sort through why I have such a hard time withe the 25 mph times in life. Hopefully I'll get some understanding so I can start appreciating life better.