Currently sitting at my laptop with a brand new Parisian hair-cut, realizing that I did it. I gave my permission for someone to snap 10 inches of hair off my head in one solid motion, simultaneously feeling like Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday and Jo in Little Women.
Someone pinch me.
Yet, in the shock of reaching up to put my hair in a ponytail only to realize there's, um...no more hair,
I don't forget why I cut it all off.
The catalyst was this long held desire to donate my hair to Locks of Love at least one time in my life. After a conversation with my fashion-forward sister, I realized that 1) my hair was finally long enough to actually make that desire a possibility and 2) a short hair cut would force me out of my comfort zone. If not for the motivating factor of donating my hair, I may not have had the guts to go through with it. But without facing up to the reality of this crazy security I'd found in something that never changed, i would have never had the chance to dig a bit deeper, weeding out false securities and even a deep, not okay desire to please people and make sure they approve of my decisions.
As I was making the decision to cut it, I realized some things about myself that may be true of many other females out there. We hide behind things, whether it be hair, make-up, a certain way of talking or dressing, hobbies. The comfort of the familiar makes us feel safe. The truth is, all of those things are good and beautiful. But not when they are used to cover up our brilliance. Not when they keep us from confidence in the discovery and walking out of who we are deep inside, the heart of us.
A friend of mine recently told me that confidence is beautiful, and as I look around, I see how true that is in those I observe. For me, a new level of confidence looked like going through with a desire that would require huge change. Why was that a new level of confidence for me personally? Sometimes we need to do practical things to set in motion a whole new way of thinking, behaving, being. The act was relaying a message to my heart, "Hey! You aren't defined by your hair." I know that probably sounds crazzzzzzy and so weird, but I don't want any safe places that keep me hidden away from being who I really am. Safe places that keep me from doing "wild" things because of the fear of what people will think, how they will respond, how brave decisions will alter my life and remove comfort zones.
While the incredible hairdresser, who in my opinion is a straight up artist, cut at my hair, all I could think of were quotes said to be attributed to Michelangelo, "Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to to discover it" and "I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free."
for me, the sculptors in my life consist of God, the incredible people who call out and encourage the gold in me, and now, I'm seeing, me. I can also be a sculptor. I can also believe in myself, in my dreams, in the present. And in the new levels of confidence I being to walk in, I get freed up to call out new levels of confidence in those around me. Incredible.
