Quarter of a Century

I reached it.  25.  What a crazy few weeks that led up to this particular point on my journey's timeline.

Last year, I wrote a letter on my birthday to bring focus to that new year of life.  One thing I wrote, "God, take me down to running size."

Wow.  That sounds like such a nice, pretty picture, eh?  You know, the kind of scene in a movie where the inspirational soundtrack is cheering the main character on as the story hits the climax and then the resolution comes just a few minutes later, where all the hard things finally start to shift and the underdog overcomes? Yeah, I think the inspirational soundtrack forgot to show up for me. :)  (just kidding.  several amazing friends have provided soundtrack inspiration at just the right moments...reminding me to not give up).

One thing I know, God answers prayers and He never leaves.  He answered that one (and is continuing to do so), and He's been there with me every step of the way, teaching me how to surrender my timeline to Him and all the plans that I've made.

"Lord, wound me with the reality of my own insufficiency.  Lord, ruin me and wound me with the reality of the world's insufficiency until I see you alone in everything.  I want to see You, Jesus.  I want to see You alone in everything, because then I know all things will bring me joy."

What if this is where the story ends?  What if there is no more, and it stops here, with transpired events that brought with them feelings too deep for words?

Except I know that it doesn't end here.  A quarter of a century full of history with my Best Friend.  A quarter of a century full of dreams and lessons and growth.

One day, God will use the things that don't make sense.  And He will use them even when I don't know that's what he's doing because He's brought me so far into wholeness. Into His likeness.

"The places that used to fit me cannot hold the things I've learned.  The door was closed off to me as my back was turned..."