marked by joy

Tonight, a friend of mine who is preparing to move back to England came over to my house to hang out for a bit. She is one of the smartest people I know, and so full of faith. Her presence is an inspiration.

We talked about various things, including my trip to Mexico, and her coming transition to a new job in England.

The conversation soon arrived at a discussion of why it is so hard sometimes to move on, to say "See you later" to a time you've loved fully, and follow God into new seasons and places. Leaving Mexico was really hard for me. In just 10 days, I felt so much love grow in my heart for the land and the people, and I felt that love reciprocated from some of the most generous people I've ever met. I not only made friends, I developed a love and affection for brothers and sisters. They may live in a different culture, yet we are all compelled by the same desire to see our true homeland, heaven, come and invade the earth.

It is hard to leave a place like that. It is hard to wave a goodbye, knowing full well that for the rest of your life, the faces and experiences of that time will stick with you, even if your own face is forgotten by them. Getting on the plane to leave Mexico felt less like leaving, and more like carrying forever a prayer for the church there, a longing for them to forever walk in the beauty of Jesus. And maybe that's the problem. Maybe where some people can leave a place, I instead carry places and people with me. I forget lots of things, but I don't forget the people who make it into my heart.

My friend understood, and that's why I knew I could talk to her about it. She could relate to the achy feeling that is present during transition. Even the thought of her being around for just another month, or even less, was another example of someone who is special to my heart needing to go elsewhere to follow God's lead.

But as I was saying goodnight to her, something started to stir in my heart, like a revelation that I was so in need of remembering...

"The best argument for Christianity is Christians: their joy, their certainty, their completeness."

-Sheldon Vanauken

There is a joy that Christians should possess in their love that surpasses human understanding, that even in parting and painful geographic separation, that joy is evident because it is so excited to release another to fulfill the plans of God. Tonight, I think I came to the realization that part of the reason for that joy is that in the end, we get to spend FOREVER together...with Christ and with the whole family. There is a bond in Christ's love that speaks of promises to come, of a homeland that doesn't end, where all the cultural separations and language barriers and geographical distances no longer matter. I look forward to that day, and it spurs me on to want to follow God even more radically, because I know that whatever the cost may be, the end of the story is more than worth it, even if it means temporary pain and loneliness.

So those are my rambling, underdeveloped thoughts for the evening. I'll probably go spend some more time processing what I just wrote, letting it seep into my heart and bring out deeper levels of courage to obey.