Nicholas Nickleby quotes

"If our affections be tried, our affections are our consolation and comfort; and memory, however sad, is the best and purest link between this world and a better."

"Hope to the last!" said Newman, clapping him on the back. "Always hope; that's dear boy. Never leave off hoping; it don't answer. Do you mind me, Nick? it don't answer. Don't leave a stone unturned. It's always something, to know you've done the most you could. But, don't leave off hoping, or it's of no use doing anything. Hope, hope, to the last!" Charles Dickens Nicholas Nickleby
It was a harder day's journey than yesterday's, for there were long and weary hills to climb; and in journeys, as in life, it is a great deal easier to go down hill than up. However, they kept on, with unabated perseverance, and the hill has not yet lifted its face to heaven that perseverance will not gain the summit of at last.

Mystery and disappointment are not absolutely indispensable to the growth of love, but they are, very often, its powerful auxiliaries.

quote from "Provocations"

The following is from Søren Kierkegaard's "Provocations" (pg. 171).

We must awaken the collision. The possibility of offense must again be preached to life. Only the possibility of offense is able to waken those who have fallen asleep, is able to break the spell so that Christianity is itself again. Woe to him, therefore, who preaches Christianity without the possibility of offense. Woe to the person who smoothly, flirtatiously, convincingly preaches some soft, sweet something which is supposed to be Christianity! Woe to the person who betrays the mystery of faith and distorts it into public wisdom in order to take away the possibility of offense! Woe to the person who speaks of the mystery of the Atonement without detecting in it anything of the possibility of offense.

Dear Houston

Dear Houston,

Someone once told me that when stories come to you, they need to be cared for because they can change another person's life. I have encountered many stories on my trip to this once unknown land, and as I head back to a place much more familiar (to me) than Texas, I leave with a heartache that indicates growth and change and love and heart connection. I leave with an expectation of what is to come, along with an extreme gratefulness for what has been embraced and experienced already. I pray that those stories will one day change someone else as I pass them on.

I received my acceptance letter to the University of Maryland earlier this week.(God, can Houston and Maryland please merge for just two years? that would be great...for sure!!!:-) Even as I write this in my sadness over leaving new friends who have become like family, my heart is burning for that campus, and an excitement is stirring for what God is wanting to create in the midst of a dark place. I am looking forward to the stories and the Holy Spirit meetings as He invades the streets and creates magnificence out of brokeness and hope out of despair. I"m looking forward to conversations with drunks, druggies, the religious, the intellectuals, etc. Randomness is always welcome. I don't know exactly what God wants to do or how He will do it, but I know that He is always into breaking tradition and shaking up what's normal...like entering wal-mart through the exit door and exiting through the entrance. That gets me excited. I am excited to see how He explodes in the university system across this nation in the years to come, capturing hearts and awakening a generation to their call to be a fearless army that has looked into the eyes of Courage and become undone for anything less than the Son.

I'm learning that often the Holy Spirit directs our steps based upon the things that start exciting us deep on the inside...I guess kind of like following your heart. Going to University of Maryland is exciting me deep on the inside. Being in DC for two years is exciting me deep on the inside. Being positioned accurately as an ambassador for Christ is exciting me deep on the inside. Thinking about coming back to Houston someday is exciting me too.

Which means that I know where I need to be positioned for next year. Which makes my heart a bit achy because I will miss my new friends. But who knows what two years from now holds? Or the new things that will be birthed? Or the destiny steps that will be walked? Oh...right...God knows. :-) He's amazing like that...and He doesn't even have to try...it's all natural.

So, Houston, I want you to know that I hope to return someday. (Well, I have to come back to watch the Astros...) Maybe Houston will be my "base" home--cause I'm not too good at staying still--and I don't think that restlessness will ever go away. I think God wired me to be slightly restless. There are too many lands to see and people to meet and nations to disciple. But it's good to have a home--a place of belonging where fellowship only serves to heighten the stirring of fresh revelation and a deeper walk with Christ--a place to come back to for rejuvination after going on crazy adventures to go preach the Gospel to the unreached:-)

Thank you for teaching me even more deeply what it feels like to belong--to be accepted--to be seen for who I am as a child of God. Thank you for allowing me to dream even bigger dreams--like the pure ones that only come straight from heaven. Thank you for being friends and sisters and brothers and warriors. Thank you for reminding me what it's like to laugh, even when life throws curve balls, and to love, even when it hurts because you know that the time will come when you will have to leave. Thank you for starbucks, picking me up because I don't have a car, the rodeo, the beach, IHOP (the pancake place, not the prayer one), all night prayer meetings, hugs...like the REAL kind, not the flimsy kind, basketball, fajitas, Brisket, turkey legs, Jesus conversations, corny jokes, life drama...and the hilarious dating circles (my parents never let me date when I was young! Crazy. lol), forgiveness, joy, friendship, laughter, good food, chocolate covered bananas, Taco Bell hang out times, random texting sessions (Paul, you better not stop sending me your little encouraging word texts!), promises of a funny movie marathon, road trips, encouragement, new songs, art museums (Katy!). Thank you for showing me that there really are Christians who love each other...and that the Book of Acts kind of set-up is still a possibility. Thank you for being radical. Thank you for awkward moments of getting to know someone else. Thank you for Sonic (Marco, don't laugh at my slobber!). Thank you for challenging me. And thank you for the tattoo ideas. And the hilarious jokes. And the best laugh EVER! (Steph...that's right....that's all you woman!) Oh...and thanks for almost getting Marco into jail:-) hehehe.Thank you for making me into a Rockets fan. (but I'm definitely not gonna be swayed to any of your college teams!!!) Thank you for loving me. Thank you for embracing me. Thank you for the uncomfortable moments where I got to see places of insecurity. Thank you for not being perfect!!! Thank you for missing me:-). Thank you for having a sense of humor. Thank you for loving worship and intimacy with the Father...and for loving Jason Upton as much as me. Thank you for letting me play basketball even though I'm pretty much useless on the court, even at 5'11". (But hey, Mitchel can be my defense that I really did have one good night!).

I pray that God would bless you with joy unspeakable. I pray that He would pour out a spirit of revelation like you have never known--and that you would have the wisdom of heaven to know how to live. I pray that you would become a sign and a wonder in the land, with a voice that resounds from the most broken down of neighborhoods to the richest of homes. I pray for growth and increase and an anointing to take nations. Above all, I pray that your love would increase--and that all those around you would know that you belong to a Love that is not of this world.

There is so much more I could say. Let LIFE be your choice. I miss you and love you ALL! When I come back, we'll have to share stories about the awesome ways God is moving. That will stir up faith, for sure! (Conrad, you better memorize that commission!) Go change your world--there are no limits or boundaries to what Jesus can do! I will be praying for you guys.

And, Um...EVERYONE better visit me!!!! (For Kate and Maria, there are no exceptions...if you don't come I will track you down and get you on the plane with me!) Road trip it, "y'all"! We'll have a huge bonfire and just be crazy:-) I'll set up tents in my backyard or something. We'll sing songs and build forts and then go walk around the streets like we are homeless. That would be hilarious. Love you guys! Grace and peace. (he he, Wood). You all ROCK. And that's a definite forever opinion.

Love,
Caitlin

Likeness Of Jesus lyrics

I want the cry of Moses
I want the ears of samuel
I want the heart of mary
Most of all
I want the likeness of Jesus

I want the prayers of Daniel
I want the voice of John
I want the walk of Enoch
Most of all
I want the likeness of Jesus

From glory to glory,
I am transformed,
Nothing between us,
The veil has been torn

I want to be holy as he is holy
I want to be righteous as
He is righteous
I want to be loving as
He is loving
Most of all i want to
Be like Jesus

-Jonathan David Helser

Psalm 126:1

I'm putting a P.S. at the beginning of my blog: Eat yogurt with a spoon that changes colors sometime. It's a lot of fun. Now...onto something possibly more serious:-)


"When the LORD brought back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed." -Psalm 126:1

That is a flippin awesome verse!!!! Where at one time, their harps were hung in the willows to release a sound of mourning, there was laughter and singing once again. Ah! To live as those who dream--as those whose lives seem too good to be true--who walk in the double portion, receiving 7 fold for everything the enemy tried to steal!!!

Here is a commentary on the verse:

http://www.searchgodsword.org/com/mhc-com/view.cgi?book=ps&chapter=126

How did he do it?

I've had the privelege and honor of knowing amazing people in my lifetime. The thing about me is that I love connecting with people's hearts, and getting to know the things that stir them. sometimes it's simply to watch their eyes start glowing. There is nothing that invigorates me more than talking about the Kingdom and about Jesus and telling stories about the greatness of God. I love to strategize with my friends, and search for creative ways to reach out to the people around us. Often, I leave wanting to be more like Jesus after seeing the passion in one of my brothers or sisters.

It is amazing to me that we have a tie that brings us together far deeper than anything of this world...a tie that stems out of covenant, which can only be broken by your own personal choice. It goes beyond language, culture, denomination, background, and anything else. It's Jesus, and His blood. It's the fellowship with the same Holy Spirit, despite what language you speak. It's being adopted as a son and daughter by Father and being a part of a radical seeded Kingdom. This unity came about through the highest price being paid--the blood of the King of heaven--of royalty that dwelt among humanity to become for them a lamb that could be slain for the salvation of the world. A lion never wants to take the form of a lamb. Yet, Jesus did. For love.

I have found it true that when you love much, you also hurt much. Not in a bad, heartbroken, depressed way--but in a way that knows when you have to leave the people you appreciate, that you will miss them and their company. Actually, sometimes that does cause your heart to feel "broken" for a time, because you've had the privelege of sharing with another's heart for a season.

It makes me wonder about Jesus. I know He was strong and brave, but if Paul felt that intense love for the saints, Jesus must have felt it even more intensely. Especially since Paul said in Phil. 1 that, "God beareth me record how greatly I long after you all from the very heart root in Iesus Christ." Wow--the very heart root of Jesus was what Paul compared the emotions and love of his heart to. In John 17, Jesus prayed for his disciples, "that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast beloved them, as thou hast loved me." The Father "beloved" them, and Jesus must have felt that affection, since He was so in synch with the heart of heaven. That's powerful.

Yet, Jesus' love compelled him to leave, and not to stay. That's hard. His time with His best friends, Peter, James, and John, must have been sweet. So many memories were a part of their journey, which was intensely intimate over the span of three years. John got to lean on His chest. Peter got to learn from Him about second chances. James learned who the greatest servant was. And even in the midst of the lessons, they remained friends, and grew even closer.

FOr the first time, I am wondering if that added to the agony of the cross--the heartache in Gethsemane as Jesus prayed to the Father to take the cup. I know the knowledge of the pain would have been enough for me to cry out, yet I still wonder if the affection He had for His disciples ever made Him long to stay in community, spending precious nights talking about the Kingdom of God and challenging them to be disciples of love. I know I would miss that. I do miss that when I feel the Holy Spirit calling me to a new place.

The thing about Jesus' prayer in John 17 that strikes me the most is the feeling I get of reckless abandonment in His words. His heart is surrendered to the will of the Father, and the Father's will supersedes even a longing to be with His disciples. He cries out to the Father for unity. For love. He turned His eyes to heaven at the very start of the prayer and said, "Father, the hour is come; glorify thy Son, that thy Son also may glorify thee". He was after the glory of the Father. And He set the example, as the Teacher, for His disciples to be after the same...no matter what it would cost.

That makes me want to cry in appreciation. Jesus gave up everything at the cross--and it was because of love. And Paul had this same heart beatng in him, and so his life became a drink offering--and it was because of love.

Sometimes I wish that I wasn't in the process of learning to hear the voice and quickening of the Holy Spirit. But all of my reasons are selfish, like not wanting to take the responsibility and duty of what I hear Him say to my heart as I still myself and listen. God wants to be glorified through His saints. And sometimes that glory means leaving a community that you love to go to an unknown land. That unknown land doesn't necessarily mean some foreign nation. It could be moving across to a different part of the city that really needs to hear about Jesus. I guess that would be nice because you could still be close to friends:-) (Which I know God loves!)

I just want to know how Paul did it--how he moved on from a church he loved to go to nations that did not know the truth or have a foundation laid. How did his heart handle the intensity of that separation? To me, that is reckless abandonment to the extreme--and a radical trust in God, that He will be everything that you need for every season He calls you to walk through and everey place He sends your feet to tread. Sometimes I think it would just be easier to only connect with the people who I know I will be around for a longer period of time--because then it would be less likely I would leave them as often. HOwever, that thought doesn't stick around for long because I can't imagine missing out on all of the other amazing friendships as the Lord networks His children. I am convinced that He is building an army--and we don't even understand why he brings about certain connections. But He does. And it's for His Kingdom and so the Father will be glorified. So even if I have to go on an expedition like Paul, or get sentenced to the Island of Patmos like John, I want to keep loving with everything inside of me. That's how Jesus loved. I want to be like Him. Since I know I can't do it on my own, I am praying that the Lord would teach me to love--and I am thanking HIm that the love of God has been shed abroad in my heart by the Holy Spirit. What an incredible thought! What an amazing God.

So...how did he do it? I probably still dont' know, but I have a few ideas. Reckless abandonment was the fruit of His love for the Father, and the Father had His full attention--as number one in His list of loves. Above all, He had to obey HIm, because when you love, you obey. I think that's how He could do the things He did.

Claustrophobia

My siblings and I have played some intense games of hide-and-seek over the years. All of us can get pretty competitive, as well as stubborn, which causes occassional ruthlessnes to arise in our desire to win. Once, in an indoor game, I hid in an empty wooden trunk that was used to hold towels and blankets. It was small, but big enough for me to fit inside. I thought it would be the perfect hiding place that my sister would never find.

I was wrong. My sister found me. Instead of opening the trunk and saying, "Tag! You're the one who has to count now," she sat on the lid. She probably sat there for 30 seconds max, but those 30 seconds felt like an eternity. Never again will I hide in a trunk during hide-and-seek. I learned that day just how awful it feels to be trapped and to know you are unable to escape. Claustrophobia is not a pleasant experience.

I wonder how many people come into church and feel claustrophobic. Sometimes I do. Not because I don't love good preaching and good worship services or prayer meetings. In fact, I need them, as long as the atmosphere is free. It's just that I have a hard time accepting a Christianity that stays within four walls, with closed doors and shut windows making me feel congested. Even if there are amazing things breaking out inside those walls, those amazing things are the movements of the Holy Spirit and come from Him. I can't imagine Him wanting those explosions to remain inside, just like I couldn't imagine an artist or a musician wanting to never be admired for their work. In fact, I wonder if the Holy Spirit gets claustrophobic, wondering when we will stop trying to impress one another with how much we know about Him, even though a lot of the time everyone pretty much knows the same stuff but just shares it differently. Then it just turns into a big competition, and the truth is no longer about advancing the Kingdom, but instead about building your own great name. And by that point, is the once pure truth still pure truth? Or does it become twisted through pride?

I wonder if His heart is longing to infuse the streets with the truth that is being competed over. Actually, I don't really wonder that. I'm sure that is the longing of His heart. Because movers and shakers never want to stay where things are already getting shaken. They want to go to the places where there needs to be some new movement and shaking. And the Holy Spirit likes to shake things up:-)

Just some thoughts that are challenging me personally to not get stuck in a box.

The Vision

Words of the Vision, written by Pete Greig,
http://www.24-7prayer.com/cm/resources/28

Check it out: http://www.jesusculture.org/media/index.php?type=3&id=47&foreign_id=47&media_id=66


The Vision
"So this guy comes up to me and says "what's the vision? What's the big idea?" I open my mouth and words come out like this…
The vision?

The vision is JESUS – obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.

The vision is an army of young people.

You see bones? I see an army. And they are FREE from materialism.

They laugh at 9-5 little prisons.
They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday.
They wouldn't even notice.
They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.
They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations. They need no passport.. People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.
What is the vision ?
The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes. It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars. It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure.

Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation.
It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games.
This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day its soldiers

choose to loose
that they might one day win
the great 'Well done' of faithful sons and daughters.

Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night. They don't need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: "COME ON!"

And this is the sound of the underground
The whisper of history in the making
Foundations shaking
Revolutionaries dreaming once again
Mystery is scheming in whispers
Conspiracy is breathing…
This is the sound of the underground

And the army is discipl(in)ed.

Young people who beat their bodies into submission.

Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms.
The tattoo on their back boasts "for me to live is Christ and to die is gain".

Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. Martyrs. Who can stop them ?
Can hormones hold them back?
Can failure succeed? Can fear scare them or death kill them ?

And the generation prays

like a dying man
with groans beyond talking,
with warrior cries, sulphuric tears and
with great barrow loads of laughter!
Waiting. Watching: 24 – 7 – 365.

Whatever it takes they will give: Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide. Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mould them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.

They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive

inside.

On the outside? They hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide.
Would they surrender their image or their popularity?
They would lay down their very lives - swap seats with the man on death row - guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair.

With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days,

they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them.

Their DNA chooses JESUS. (He breathes out, they breathe in.)
Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus.
Their words make demons scream in shopping centres.
Don't you hear them coming?
Herald the weirdo's! Summon the losers and the freaks. Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes. They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.

And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it will come easily; it will come soon.
How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God. My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3D. And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great 'Amen!' from countless angels, from hero's of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.

Guaranteed."

Becoming Prophetic Fulfillment

These are INCREDIBLE times to be alive.

For years, even centuries, there have been prophets who have spoken about these times that we are living in. Joel prophesied about the pouring out of the Holy Spirit on ALL flesh. He prophesied about dreams and visions being birthed. We've tasted portions of it throughout the ages, with pockets of revivals being birthed across nations, keeping the Kingdom moving forward. Yet, I think any church historian will be able to say that never has there been a time like this. It's like we've been on a roadtrip. We've had a map and known the destination. We've had pictures to give us a taste of what we were about to see, creating a longing in our hearts, and a determination to get there. Yet, now it's like we are finally walking into the place we knew we were headed towards. THE FULFILLMENT OF PROPHECY. An army that isn't afraid of anyone but the King. Our lives are becoming the very words that were uttered years ago from mouths of those who spoke from the heart of heaven this very movement into existence. "His words framed the world." Just like Abraham, they never saw the promise, yet they had faith to contend for it for the generations that would follow them. What a privelege to be alive RIGHT NOW. To be the harvesters of the field that has been plowed in prayer and tears for years.

How thankful I am for the mothers and fathers who didn't give up--who pressed into the heart of God and kept the Word stirred up in the earth. How thankful I am for the Holy Spirit awakening a generation. So rejoice! You are strong! You are a part of this thing...this army of warriors who are called to fight for Him. Not fighting for the leaders of the faith because they could mess up, no matter how much they've done. And not fighting out of mere emotion. If that's what you are living off of, with the next conference your hope for staying stirred up, you need to encounter Jesus. Cause this thing is real, and it's a fire that carries even when everything seems hard. So let's do this! Let's be the prayer on the earth. Let's be the word from heaven.

Amen.

God Brokenness Yields Increase

Jim Braddock in Cinderella Man
William Wallace in Braveheart
The Basher Brother in Mighty Duck
Vince Papale in Invincible

And...I know there are a lot more.

I was thinking of examples of "warrior" types who made comebacks. They were away for a while, but came back better than ever. I don't really think it's so much their talent that developed. I think it's their heart--their passion--their determination. They come back on the field no longer just a soldier or a boxer or whatever else. They come back with something fueling their very heart and focusing their eyesight on something bigger.

I hope God brings some warriors back on the field right now--soldiers who may have been in obscurity for years, but God has been doing a deep work in their heart. I pray that truly broken men would speak from pulpits and lead prayer meetings and evangelistic outreaches. Because for some reason, that hidden season gives them an even greater resolve to finish the race --with One person's glory in mind and only the treasures of heaven as what they want to gain. They haven't been broken into incapable and washed up preachers. They have become wrecked with the reality of who Christ is--a reality that reaches into their heart and pulls out the person God has called them to be to shift things in this season. "It's not by might, nor by power, but by the Spirit," declares the Lord.

Don't Let This Happen Again

"On the heels of hostilities with Imperial Japan in 1942, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt issued Executive Order No. 9066 which gave the Secretary of War the power to remove any citizens or aliens from designated areas of the country. Roosevelt hoped this order would minimize sabotage, espionage, and fifth-column activity. By some estimates, the order led to 100,000 people of Japanese ancestry being placed in internment camps or in relocation centers until the end of the war in 1945. Most were displaced from the states of Washington, Oregon, California, and Arizona. While there were also significant numbers of Italian and German citizens and aliens affected, the Japanese community in the western United States (U.S.) bore the brunt of the policy.

As we now know, Executive Order No. 9066 was devastating for many Japanese families. Tragically, Christians did not reach out to the Japanese-American community during this trying time. While history records that members of the Catholic Maryknoll order voiced opposition to the policy, the Protestant and evangelical community was largely silent. There is no doubt that the immediate dislocation of hundreds of Japanese families created tremendous opportunities to live out the gospel in word and deed. Lamentably, for the most part, those opportunities were squandered.

There is a well-known story that General Douglas MacArthur asked for a number of missionaries to go to Japan during the time of its reconstruction.1 With the defeat of their forces, MacArthur saw an opportunity to introduce the gospel. The call went mostly unheeded, as only 95 Protestant missionaries were sent to Japan. Apparently, General MacArthur was not aware of American indifference to the plight of the Japanese. The church had not shown any concern for its Japanese neighbors. Was there any reason to expect that the church would reach out to Japanese people across the Pacific?

Today, the number of Christians among the Japanese-in this country and abroad-remains stubbornly small. Caught in an ethnic culture resistant to Christianity, 97 percent of all Japanese and Japanese-Americans remain unevangelized. The gospel is just too Western for many."

by Rudolph D. Gonzalez, Ph.D.

http://www.4truth.net/site/c.hiKXLbPNLrF/b.2904173/k.236E/Concerning_the_Muslims_Among_Us.htm