Monday, December 10, 2007

21 years--Faith, No More Fear

"Attacks force churches to boost security."

The story of the Colorado shootings were all over the T.V. today. Although Colorado is far from where I live, I still felt grief over the deaths of 2 YWAMers and 2 teenage girls who were coming home from church. Grief came because these young people could have been my friends. But fear also came because of the lawlessness that roams in the hearts of men...and how such an incident could have happened anywhere, and to anyone. I got shocked into a place of seeing hownfragile life is...and how important it is to keep priorities straight while walking here on earth. Fear is a real emotion, and death and violence are realities while living in an imperfect world. But how I choose to respond in my heart to these realities will determine how I live my life. It's so important to live with an understanding of the Kingdom I represent and the power that comes through that alliance--that I am naturally supernatural as a daughter of the King.

Today I turned 21. I am now "legal"...still, all I drank tonight was a strawberry milkshake. ::-)(I know people say that a little bit of alcohol is okay...but the impaired judgment isn't worth it to me. Excellence comes through abstaining even from things that might seem okay.) Tonight, I want to go to sleep knowing that I took the time to set my heart and my mind on the things above--and my eyes on the face of the Beautiful One. That's why I'm writing this blog. I want this year to start off right.

Tonight, my heart was celebrating another year complete, but for some reason I was battling a lot of fear concerning the future. The recent Colorado news and a bad dream a few nights ago only added to my fear...a fear of death that started disabling my ability to live fully alive. I felt myself grabbing in my mind at everything in this life that I hold valuable--and anxiety hit me about the things that I haven't yet experienced that I want to some day. The list is still there with a lot of spaces unchecked: backpack through Europe, climb really big mountains, go on crazy adventures through nations to tell people about Jesus and watch God show up in out of control ways, surf, learn a new language, get a tattoo that says Beloved, learn how to play the keyboard, get married. But all of those things are so temporary. They are good...but still not eternal. Not even the person I marry is going be able to answer for me when I stand before Jesus to give an account for how I lived my life--for how I loved people...or didn't love them--for how I gave my life as a drink offering...or how I went after my own selfish ambitions.

But more importantly, as I thought about the shortness of life, I realized how asleep I can be to the word written on my heart--eternity. Everyone will die someday. That's just a matter of time. The real question is not how or when, but where will a souls destination be following death? I know that sounds morbid, but it should only be a scary question if you don't know Jesus as Lord and Savior...if your heart is not right with God.

Now, as I listen to Over the Rhine on imeem and write my thoughts out, I hope that I can come to a place of truth with the Holy Spirit leading me into a realization once again that perfect love casts out fear. I want 21 to be marked by faith, and not fear--and to live so securely in love, that fear doesn't have a chance at holding me back from walking in the fullness of God.

Who I believe Jesus to be is the most important question I will ever answer. I love how Jesus comes alive through the Gospels--through writings of people who loved Him and knew Him in such a way that they could call Him friend. I love how I can learn to walk with Him through their stories and experiences with the Master. Many of these people gave their lives for this Man. They learned what it means to live by faith, and not fear. For them, Jesus was the Son of God--and with that, their protector, provider, the lifter up of their head. He sustained them, and they knew that He would be there, no matter what life brought their way. They trusted Him in every way. They are heroes--people who traded in the temporary for the eternal. On this life they didn't just survive--they thrived. They knew what it meant to fly, and their secret was in who they knew Jesus to be for themselves. These heroes wanted to know Jesus more than any other pursuit. And because of this love-affair, they were able to live in a place that many people fail to reach.

The Bible says that in the last days, many men's hearts will fail them because of fear. Lawlessness is going to abound. The love of many is going to grow cold. BUT he who endures to the end shall be saved.

I want to be one who endures to the end. I want to live each day in the newness of life, letting God sustain me. I want to, "Live a life less ordinary," with Him, full of passion and perserverance. I want Jesus to teach me how to walk by faith, and not by sight.

God is good.

Live fully alive in Him!!! Each day is new and beautiful. Embrace it.

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